It's about making it together

One of the most nagging questions to ask prior to tying the knot is “mau tinggal di mana nanti setelah nikah?” (Other questions include when we will have a baby and whether I'll turn into a full-time housewife or not after getting married. More on this later.)

So, yeah. Where will we stay after The Day?

To be honest, I have no idea. One thing for sure is that I don't want to live with the parents, mine or his. I repeat, I do not want to live under the same roof with either Mom. Why? Because even though I love both my and his mother with all my heart, to me, getting married means starting a new life together.

And if a guy is ready to marry me, it should must mean that he is ready to live with me and me only. Ready to put a roof above my head, ready to start main rumah-rumahan together, be it in an apartment, a house in a suburban cluster, or a rented room somewhere. Sure, being a spoiled brat that I am, it's gonna be tough at first. I don't know how to cook, I know shit about plumbing and electricity, and don't even start with using the right cleaner for the right room.

But that's the fun. I want that chaos right from Day 1 as a family. I want to argue over the brand of cleaner we'll use to mop the floor, or scold Bangun for leaving the phone adaptor plugged in 24/7. I want to discuss what flowers we will put on the porch, on the den, or how many framed pictures we will hang on the wall in our living room.

Now, about four and a half months before the wedding, we still have nowhere to live. There have been candidates from lousy, el cheapo apartments, mid-class studio, secondhand suburban houses, and the latest addition to the confusion, an empty lot where we can build our own dream house.

I must admit, the latest option seems the best. We can design our own rooms, and of course my own library. However, it's harder to look for one that fits our criteria; size, price, and location.

There's also one more thing: if we want to build the house from scratch, we have to rent a place somewhere while waiting for the construction phase. Which means more money to spend.

I know some of my friends who stay in their parents' houses after getting married, and their argument mostly floats around “Nemenin nyokap/bokap tinggal sendirian,” “Masih belajar menyesuaikan diri hidup sama suami,” to what I think is da bomb: “Ya mumpung masih bisa nebeng, ngapain hidup sendiri? Bersyukur aja masih bisa hidup dibayarin sama orang tua.”

While I highly respect their decision, let me just say in this journal of mine,


Ya ngapain lo kawin kalo gitu, Nyet.