Will you catch me?

I wish sometimes I could not care about anything. That way, I wouldn't give so much thought into something when it goes wrong. Kind of like the way I don't care about, say, wearing cosmetics. That way, I wouldn't care about smudged lipsticks or wrong shades of mascara in my face.

Or big, celebratory days. I wish I didn't care about New Year's Eve; that way, I wouldn't give a slightest fuck when I can't spend it with people I want to spend it with.

When I don't care about something, I suppose I wouldn't get too attached to it either. I wouldn't have to commit to it, and end up questioning myself in doing so. Commitments like it or not, make you feel dependent of your partner, don't you think? It's just not healthy. At all. There are times when I like depending because I'm sure no matter how much of a "survivor" women claim to be, deep down we can't live without our partners.

However, there are also times when I wish the word "commitment" did not exist at all. It's suffocating, it makes me think, and of course, it makes me ramble on and on with no sense whatsoever. All this just because of one silly question Bangun asked me jokingly the other night, following one bad news he'd delivered a few nights before.

But I guess above all, it's still nice to have the feeling of being needed by someone. I like it.

Enough about scary stuff, now moving on to a lighter area. Ever so unpredictably, I went to A Mild Live's Soundrenaline 2006 in Pantai Karnaval last Sunday. Supposedly the biggest annual rock festival in Indonesia. From the performers and the ticket price ( Rp. 30,000 and you get to see Indonesia's leading bands perform all day long in five stages), anyone can notice who the target audience was. Low-middle class, who seek for entertainment at the cheapest price, just to take a break from their tough daily life. People—mostly men—who came in groups, proudly bringing flags and banners saying "Slankers Club Depok" or "Slankers Club Cirebon".

Therefore, I want to say to the promoter of the festival, good job for bringing together Slank, Jamrud, /rif, Cokelat, Seurieus, and other top local acts in such an affordable price for their fans, but what the hell were you thinking, inviting INXS to perform?!

Poor, poor JD Fortune and the aging guys (but obviously not with aging skills) performed like they were playing in front of a group of disadvantaged people. From the thousands of men and women there, I'd say only a hundred or maybe less who actually enjoyed their music. I heard most of the crowd shouting "Udaaaah…Slanknya manaaa…" over and over again.

INXS deserves another concert, maybe alone, or at least not scheduled before Slank in the same stage. As for Soundrenaline, think more of perhaps Hoobastank or Good Charlotte for next year.


[song of the day: Mogwai - I Know You Are But What Am I?]