Hello, little bubble. Looks like everyone's gone, huh. I've not been having good days. Nothing's been going right, my GPA's out and it's the worst I've ever gotten in my two and a half years of college, the fact that I failed a class for the first time still haunts me, my paranoid mind doesn't stop bugging me, I'm somehow feeling low and crappy, and instead of friends, I've got butterflies with me 24/7.
Why now. Why not later, when my friends aren't so busy with their stuff? Why not later, when Runi--my only 24/7 I had even though lately I'm not sure if she still is as things seem to always get in the way--is back from whatever the hell it is she's busy with? Why not later, when Bandung kids are here so I can use some distractions?
I so wanna get the hell out of here. Go start a new life or something, where everyone's new, where I don't have to say goodbye to just some part of my life 'cos I'll leave all of them behind. Maybe I could join some Witness Protection Program so no fuckin one knows where I am or what my name is.
Speaking of Witness Protection Program, remember that time when I got robbed and the thieves got caught? Today was their trial day, and I was supposed to come but I didn't. Firstly, it was located somewhere on Kota Tangerang. Notice the word "kota". The city looks so hectic, hot, and traffic jam is definitely an everyday dish. And I'm talking about those traffic jam where angkots are everywhere, literally scattered all over the road, not minding the rules, ethics, and other drivers around them. Secondly, as I said before, everyone's gone. I couldn't go to a trial alone, now, could I. Mum's been so busy with her work, it's impossible to ask her out on a weekday.
Earlier today I went to PIM with Dinda though, and it was a bit refreshing. We wanted to give Mum something for Mother's Day, and in the end we got her this blue, cute-looking jar and we stuffed it with chocos. Seeing her face beam with happiness today was the highlight of my recent days. Now I know she'll never read this, but love you a bunch and a half, Mummy! Seriously, I've never found any better mother in this world. I pity you who don't have her as your mum.
Ugh, people, if you can't be around so much, why don't you all just die or something. *ooh, the late-night, impulsive, no-brainer line from the Queen of Ego*
Stuck here, in the middle of nowhere
With a head ache, and a heavy heart
Well nothing is going quite right here
And I'm tired, I can't play no part
Come on, come on
Oh what a state I'm in
Come on, come on
Why won't it just sink in?
[coldplay]
[song of the day: coldplay - help is round the corner]
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