a serenade of sounds*

Two firsts

2012-02-10T23:42:00.000+07:00

There's always a first time for everything, and today I got two of those.

This morning, I signed the papers for--get this--The Suryoputros' first property! Alright! Finally, after a year full of options, going back and forth between types of property (goodbye, lousy middle-class apartments in the city), and (I believe) quietly wanting to Jedi-mind-trick each other into another one's favorite location, we chose to buy a land in Bintaro.

It's not much, but hopefully it will be enough for us to build a decent house to live in when we move back to Jakarta years later. Right now, the Ikea catalog keeps flipping itself in my mind, page by page.

Then later in the afternoon, I finally stepped my foot in Balikpapan, my soon-to-be-home, for the weekend. First impression? The city is humbling.

I don't know, but it seems quiet, yet not dead. From the endless row of shops along the roads, you can see the economy is bustling. Yet the traffic seems relaxed, as if there's no rush to go anywhere. I can't help but think how can a big-city girl like me, who is used to crazy traffic and fast-paced hours, can survive.

However, a few hours into staying here, I'm starting to imagine how it will be. And yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to a mellow-out life here, away from the two-star town they call Jakarta.

This workload, too, shall pass

2012-02-10T19:32:00.001+07:00

My excuse for the lack of updates this time is because I've been busy with moving and with work. At the very same time. Of course there just HAS to be a new dairy factory topping-off ceremony when I'm busy packing and thinking how the hell do we move our lives from Jakarta to Balikpapan, right?

And then, just when moving day is closing, there HAS to be a slight crisis in another milk plant. Plus a magazine to publish. Plus a stack of handover documents to prepare.

But anyway, here's something for me to remember (and to gloat): my magazine, which I believe no one really reads at the office because who reads internal publications in their office, won not one but two awards from the Serikat Penerbit Surat Kabar this week! Hey, that says something, doesn't it?

At least it's what I can contribute to the office before I leave. Funny thing is, I remember just before I left Jakarta Globe, this 8-page story package I co-wrote also had gotten an award from some international publishers' organization in Hong Kong. Definitely a nice memorabilia for me to take.

Despite the urge to just curl up in bed and step away from all the madness, I'm still savoring these last moments of hecticness before I'm faced with household management.

And we'll collect the moments one by one

2012-01-06T16:06:00.000+07:00

For all my life, I have always lived under one roof with my family. Even during college years, when everyone else was enjoying their freedom in their rented kosan room (why the hell is it called Kost anyway?). I went to a university located just about 30-minute drive away from home, so my mom would rather pay for my gas money than to pay for a rented accommodation.

Also, for all my life, I have never once dreamed of being a freelancer, let alone a stay-at-home wife. I've always had goals regarding my career, I've always known what I want to achieve, and I've always strived to climb that corporate ladder to the top.

So now, when Bangun got an offer to be placed in his office's Balikpapan headquarter, there's definitely gonna be a huge change in my life. I will be a stay-at-home wife in a land faraway from home.

How do I feel?

I'm excited, I'm nervous, scared, giddy, happy at the same time. I'm nervous 'cos I'm entering the real life of running my own house. I'm excited to see what opportunities Balikpapan will give me. I'm scared 'cos I'll be away from Mom and Dinda. What if I can't cook decent foods? What if I can't pick the right cleaner for the right room in the house? What if I can't iron our clothes and end up leaving burned holes? Will I pay our bills in time?

As for jobs, I'm definitely nervous because now, for at least the next few months, I'm gonna have to rely on freelance gigs that obviously offer no certainty. I'm gonna have to leave this giant consumer goods company that has been enslaving me for the past year. It's not even about the salary 'cos really, the saying “rejeki itu udah diatur” couldn't have been more true in our case. I just hope I'll have enough things to do each day.

And of course, I'm also happy. I'm happy for The Husband, who has scored a promoted position and stationed in the company's HQ, thanks to his hard work for the past year. Now we just gotta be prepared for a real marriage--living with each other 24/7, 365 days a year.

Congratulations, you. I can't help but imagining Bapak smiling proudly at you.

On a lighter note...

2012-01-02T00:32:00.001+07:00

My 2012 resolution: To be more financially organized. And to live a (little) more carefree, unplanned life.

Here's to the night we felt alive

2012-01-01T14:21:00.000+07:00

I know we've outgrown the annual get-togethers;
The party hats and the silly props,
The colorful drinks in colorful cups,
The anxiety of counting down,
With thousands of balloons and butterflies inside,
And trains of laughter as our serenade;
I know we've outgrown all that

Yet always, at this time of the year,
As the trumpets are blaring with joy
And the fireworks illuminate the night sky,

It's you, you, and you who should be around,
With your shades, your halo,
your hat and your crown

Always, at this time of the year I ask,
Have we outgrown the festivity?

A little thank-you note

2011-12-15T20:54:00.001+07:00

You'll know who your true friends and family are when preparing for a wedding, right up to the D-Day. They're the ones who ask how's everything going and listen to your long answers. They're the ones who put up with your craziness; who answered your every question on the caterer, the outfit, or on the honeymoon even though they haven't been married; who gave you advises even though their own marriage is falling apart.

They're the ones who would go beyond the way to create a surprise bachelorette dinner for you. They would contact everyone from every different circle of friends you're in, make a pretty veil from scratch so you can wear it all through the night, cancel a planned karaoke session just because you want to sit down and have a cup of coffee in the middle of the night, and of course, hand out a penis-shaped straw for every guest as a souvenir.

They're the ones who would stay all day long during the ceremonies, even though on the night before, they had stayed up all night decorating your room. They're the ones who keep saying how beautiful you are, who make sure you have a glass of water in hand when your hair and makeup are being done. They lend you their set of jewelry when the makeup artist didn't bring one that matched your outfit.

They're the ones who, for God's sake, apply an extra layer of nail polish on your toes, even though no one would pay attention to it.

They're the ones who sat with you, waiting for the Ijab Qabul to finish in the next room. Even though there might be a slight pang in their chest from a similar experience in the same place that didn't end good. But they were still standing by your side, making jokes so you wouldn't feel so tense because the ceremony was late.

They're the ones who walked with you, held your hands steady while you cry your heart out, listening to the whole process. They go look around for a piece of tissue to wipe your tears,

(even though oddly enough, they're also the one who snatched the last piece of Kleenex on the one moment you need it.....)

They're the ones who run around madly from one point to another during the wedding reception, to make sure everything goes well. They call out groups of people to take a photoshoot with you. They stay throughout the reception, right until everyone's practically gone, barely eating the foods served.

Also, they're the ones who, despite their very busy schedule, would practice traditional dance every weekend with their friends for the wedding. And because it had been ages since their last practice, they came home with bruises and bumps. In the end, they gave one hell of a performance with the dances, leaving the guests in awe.

And let's not forget the gifts. They're the ones who gave you the most wonderful gifts a bride could ever ask for. They painted you and your husband's silhouette, they gave you the finest wine and jewelry, and of course, they booked you a room in one of the most expensive, most luxurious hotels in town, just so you can have a comfortable rest after the reception.

This post is dedicated to you, Runi, Rozelle, and my little sister Dinda. You guys have your own lives to live, your own problems and day-to-day work, but still went beyond the way for me and the wedding. I love you and I can never thank you enough.

To answer the follow-up question...

2011-12-12T15:16:00.002+07:00

“Well, I'm not sure I'm ready, but I don't really wanna postpone 'cos it's really not up to us. Lots of couples are trying to have a baby, and it doesn't feel right to deliberately say no.”

“Sama banget mikirnya. But still, I feel like we should travel, just the two of us. Mumpung masih berdua.”

“Really, where?”

“Dunno, Disneyland? You said you've always wanted to go there before becoming a mother.”

“Universal Studios is also fine with me now. Udah turun dikit kok standarnya.”

“OK we'll see what we can afford. Let's just travel.”

“Oh, but wait. Kalo Coldplay ke Asia gimana? We have to catch them, and it would be a waste to go to SG or Hong Kong back and forth.”

“True. OK We'll wait for them to announce the tour dates.”

My point is, Chris Martin, sir, our decision to have our first child, my mother's first ever grandchild, depends on you and your band.

Sincerely,
Totally cool, not-at-all obsessed fans.

The conversation did not go exactly like the quotes above, but it went something similar to that.

Looking back: Day 2

2011-12-09T21:21:00.000+07:00

[pictures are courtesy of Lightbrush Photography]

Our wedding ceremony was set to begin at 3.30 p.m. Deliberately so, because I and Bangun are two late-risers. Try to wake us up early in the morning, especially after a long night up, and you'll meet two crankyheads who's always trying to outcrank each other.

Expectedly, I woke up at....10.30 a.m. on the day I got married. After a very unhealthy McD breakfast, we drove to PTIK and started getting ready at 1 p.m. There was a glitch with Cut Marlyn team at this point. Kak Dede arrived late and only brought two people to do the makeup, hairdo, and dress a dozen of people.

Riuh rendah lah suasananya.

Anxiously waiting for the nail polish to dry

But of course, the bride stayed and sat pretty in her dressing room, waiting for the ceremony to begin. A few dozen screams from my dramatic mom later, it did begin. We used the tradition where the bride cannot enter the room before the groom is finished with his Ijab Qabul, a vow said to the bride's father that he will marry his daughter.

I waited in the next room, where the sound system was loud and clear. It was all a big blur until Bangun said, “Saya terima nikahnya Putri Bapak, Putri Dian Prameshwari Benprang, dengan mas kawin tersebut tunai.”

The handshake that says it all

In an instant, I cried like a baby.

I hadn't expected to cry, or to cry that hard, but you know, it's not everyday that you get to hear your boyfriend say that. It hit me that he (hopefully) would be there for the rest of our lives, as the leader of our little family.

Anyway, cheesiness aside, yay we're married! Now on to the par-tay, Sumatran style!

Kak Dede and Mbak Tanti both take turns to do my hair and makeup. I had prepared myself to wear the gazillion headpiece, but that day, I was nervous as hell and kept remembering horror stories of brides who collapsed when wearing sunting for too long. At around 6.30 I was set to go, and my nightmare came true; my head hurt like hell and it felt as if there's a spear stuck on my skull.

I asked for a Panadol (thanks, Run!) but it didn't do any good. My palms were sweating from holding back the pain, but I kept praying and thinking, “maybe this is the way it's supposed to feel.”

Thankfully, just about five minutes before we had to walk in, Tante Marlyn saw the worry lines in my face and rearranged the headpiece. All set and ready to smile to thousands of faces!


That's my sister, the dancer in the pink!

A moment before the reception began

Saman dance halfway to the party

The rest of the night went by too quickly. We stood on the stage for two and a half hours, but it seriously felt like ten minutes. It was heart-warming to greet the guests and knowing that they came all the way—from wherever they were—for us. The headpiece on my head weighed a ton, but it didn't hurt. And I didn't mind at all. I'd been worried that I'd hurt my cheeks from smiling, but nothing. I was more than happy to smile.

I used to think that Indonesian wedding receptions are overrated and overdone, but trust me, you want that. The festivity of celebrating your marriage with the ones you loved, plus knowing that people are there to celebrate with you, is worth all the penny and the tears, plus the occasional hair-pulling mood in between.

To say I'm happy is an understatement. Overall, I'm giving 1,563250 out of 5 for the wedding. I hope I can remember what the day feels like for the rest of my life.

Looking back: Day 1 (updated with new photos)

2011-12-08T10:30:00.001+07:00

[pictures are courtesy of Ronna Nirmala, an aspiring journo AND photographer]

"How did you feel, getting married?"

"What is it like, married life?"

Those are the two questions I've been hearing post-Nov. 19. I've been answering with a single word, a nod, and a smile. So now let's have a look at question number 1: How did I feel that day?

Well, all vendors aside, Nov. 17-19 felt surreal to me. It began on Thursday, where everyone started to prepare my house for the Siraman and Midodareni the next day.

The giddiness and anxiety grew even bigger on Friday, when everyone gathered for my Javanese rituals. I prepared myself some text to read for the Sungkeman, but still, the lump in my throat was so big, I couldn't say the words clearly.

It was a modest celebration, really. After I was bathed, I stayed in my room getting my hair and makeup done for Midodareni. I heard laughters from outside, when my parents did the Dodol Dawet ritual where they sold Es Cincau to the guests with fake money. In Javanese tradition, it's believed to attract and symbolize that people will come flocking to the wedding party.

As dusk settled, Bangun's family arrived in my house for Midodareni. Correct me if I'm wrong, but in Javanese, this ritual symbolizes the night where angels come down from heaven to guard the bride. The groom and his family, except his parents, visit the bride's house to check if she's still in good health.

However, the bride cannot go out of her room and only female relatives of the groom can check on her. They also delivered the Seserahan boxes. The groom is not allowed to see his bride, nor is he allowed to eat and drink anything but mineral water. The latter is believed to prevent him from getting poisoned by any unhappy family member.

At this point, I felt like a school girl before a big date, except that I couldn't see my date. I kept asking anyone how Bangun looked like and wanted so much to get out.

But of course I had to wait for another day to see him. After everyone was gone that night, it became even more surreal that in the next 24 hours I would be married and having the reception. Just when I'd thought I was under the spotlight for a whole day, it hit me that Saturday would be an even bigger day.

Looking back: Lightbrush Photography (updated)

2011-12-07T10:14:00.000+07:00

I'd recommend Lightbrush on the first sentence.

Why? In a nutshell, because they take amazing photos. Well I know it depends on one's taste, but to me, this vendor can find the coolest angles with beautiful shots. Plus it comes with a very affordable price.

On the day, they arrived early at PTIK's guest house where we did most of the preparation. Mas Pepy, one of the owners, himself was on duty, along with several others. My first impression was that they were fun to hangout with, and did not make you feel awkwardly under the spotlight.

While Mbak Tanti did my face and hair, Mas Pepy and his team never took a break from taking pictures. This went on until the end of the night, seriously. There's gotta be thousands of pictures in those cameras.

However, there's this glitch that, to me, is pretty major. They forgot to come to the technical meeting.

I know right.

Mbak Indri, Mas Pepy's wife who does the marketing and behind-the-scene stuff, apologized over and over again. It was an honest mistake, so I let it go. And then, just before the reception, there was an incident of miscommunication; neither Lightbrush or PTIK had prepared a cable to connect the jimmy jib, which we rented from Lightbrush, to the screen, which was from PTIK.

Had they come to the technical meeting and discuss, this wouldn't have happened.

But still, I got to give the credit to Mas Pepy, who handled the incident calmly and quickly made a decision. Magically, a connector appeared and all was good again, even though there was a blackout on the screen because we had to wait for the cable.

Update: The CD arrived yesterday and there were 2,061 photos inside. Two thousand and sixty one. I put it on slideshow and didn't finish looking at the pictures after two hours. Lightbrush took every single moment of the wedding, taking me back to Nov. 19. Thanks to the photos, now I know what the wedding looked like. Plus, they put another CD with a highlight of the photos. Later on, Mbak Indri told me it was a bonus because they had missed the meeting.

Overall, I'm giving 5 out of 5 stars for Lightbrush's photo quality, but 4 out of 5 stars for their service because of the technical meeting and cable incidents. Video will be out in about two months, so I can't rate it until then.

In the meantime, here's some of their work. Mbak Indri is available at 081802046374.

Looking back: Laili (and Friends)

2011-12-06T12:55:00.002+07:00

Aside from foods, another thing you won't notice in your own wedding is the music. I had been warned by dozens of people about this, but I didn't care. I wanted the songs in my wedding to match what I like, not some random cheesy love songs or pretentious jazz tunes.

And with Laili and Friends, I got exactly what I wanted.

I'm not even sure the name of the band is Laili and Friends, but that's what Laili the vocalist told me to put on the MC script. Laili is a high-school friend of mine, and has the voice of dewi dari surga. Bagus amat.

Before we get to the reception, let's see the songlist I chose:

1.Tonight, Tonight – Smashing Pumpkins
2.I Love You More Today Than Yesterday
3.A Whole New World - Aladdin
4.Nobody Does It Better – Carly Simon
5.Mushaboom – Feist
6.Here Comes Your Man – Meaghan Smith/Pixies
7.Digital Love – Daft Punk
8.Everything's Not Lost – Coldplay
9.Lost In Your Eyes – Debbie Gibson
10.If You Leave – OMD

11.Waters of March
12.Especially For You
13.I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
14.LOVE
15.Save The Last Dance
16.Somewhere Beyond The Sea
17.Waiting In Vain
18.We Could Be In Love
19.When You Tell Me That You Love Me
20.My Cherie Amor

The first ten were our own choice, and the last half were the songs we had to pick from Laili's play list. I had a doubt that Laili (or any band) would want to play the songs we picked, but she didn't say anything, so I assumed everything was good. And if anything did not go well, I just kept praying they'd play Tonight, Tonight 'cos it had been my dream wedding song since years ago.

Fast forward to the reception. I was on the dressing room, getting my makeup retouched when I heard Laili and the band rehearsing Tonight, Tonight from the auditorium. I and Bangun grinned at each other and knew then this band would not disappoint.

Throughout the night, to be honest, those people were right. I didn't pay much attention to the songs the band played. I tried to listen and managed to catch a few songs, but then the guests kept walking up and congratulating us on the stage, and the songs vanished from my ears again.

I did, however, caught the song Everything's Not Lost sung by the band with Ingga, a dear friend of ours and also a kick-ass singer, on the vocals. Ah-may-zing. Up to this day, some people still come up to me and say the band was awesome and ditto for the songs. Laili and Friends were not too loud for a wedding reception, yet you can hear the songs playing as the background to the festivity.

This is also a plus point; Laili is one pretty woman and she dressed very elegantly for the reception, with her long black dress. Oh yeah, and she sings hell good. I'm giving them 5 out of 5 stars. Laili is available at laili.fauziah99@gmail.com.

Looking back: Dwi Tunggal Citra

2011-11-30T13:38:00.001+07:00

They say food is the single most important thing of a wedding reception. They say if you run out of foods, or if it doesn't taste good, then the party's a failure. I half-heartedly agree with this, although of course to me, the bride, the number one priority is how I look.

Anyway, back to the foods. We didn't want to gamble with this, so we went a bit crazy on what to serve the guests with foods from Dwi Tunggal Citra, who apparently does not believe in online marketing since their web site and Facebook page are outdated.

I was a bit frustrated with choosing the menu, so I left it to the moms and sisters. The last time I saw, the order list was very long, I can't even remember what was in it. I do know, though, that we order eight Kambing Guling for 1,500-ish guests. Since I and Bangun are such huge fans of Kambing Guling and in most receptions it's pretty much gone in the first hour, we didn't want our wedding to run out of it. I think it kinda worked, because according to some of our friends and family, the lambs were still available until about 9-ish.

When you're standing there on the stage, it's very difficult to care or even notice anything going on with the caterers, so let's rely on testimonials from family and friends. Thankfully, none of them said anything bad about the foods. In fact, the biggest compliments we received were about the catering service.

You know how in receptions you see the waiters pushing around a lorry for the dirty dishes, put them in the pantry and then went back to serve the guests? Yeah, they don't do that in DTC. They have enough manpowers to serve the guests, take out the dirty dishes and prepare the foods in the pantry. Their head butler also walked up to the stage to give me, Bangun and our parents mineral water in the middle of the reception, during the Saman dance performance.

The decoration they gave, the flowers and centerpieces, were also exceptionally good. Very satisfying. Too bad I don't have any picture of it. But let me tell you this; I'm giving 7 out of 5 stars for DTC. Although the bill has single-handedly doubled the whole budget for this wedding, again, it was worth every single penny (and tear).

The person to contact is Retno at 021 7081 2532

Looking back: Ratu Wedding

2011-11-30T12:44:00.000+07:00

Speaking of Cut Marlyn, my biggest concern was their bridal make-up. Therefore, I decided to use Ratu Wedding instead, with their main make-up artist, Mbak Tanti.

Mbak Tanti is this young-looking, very pretty, very soft-spoken lady who is nice to be around with. She arrived earlier than me in PTIK, so that's a good beginning. Exactly at 1 p.m. She started to do her thang, and about 90 minutes later we were done. I like what she did for my akad, with the headpiece and the soft-yet-very-Sumatranese-kinclong make-up.

Make-up and hairdo by Mbak Tanti and team

In the afternoon, she and her two assistants retouched the make-up and made it more eye-catching for the reception. I like it too, but I think it was a bit too thick. But hey what do I know, heavy make-up for me is colored lip balm, one-layer mascara and thin eyelines. I absolutely love the bindi she put on my forehead, though. Pretty.

Waiting for our par-tay to begin

They also put a soft layer of foundation (or was it powder?) to Bangun, and I think it was of the right amount. I often see grooms are overly made-up in weddings, and thank God mine was not one of them.

All in all, with the low price and high-quality service she presented, I give 5 out of 5 stars for Mbak Tanti of Ratu Wedding, despite the over-layering for the reception. Tapi kan katanya kalo nggak menor bukan manten Sumatra...

The person to contact is Lili or Ami at 021 4788 1712

Looking back: Cut Marlyn Decoration

2011-11-30T12:07:00.002+07:00

With the aftermath, the reviews shall come. Be aware though, that all the pictures uploaded are low-quality photos. Maybe later when Lightbrush is done with the JPEGs, I will put some of them up.

And so let's begin with the number one review: Cut Marlyn Decoration.

Let me repeat, there's not much Acehnese wedding vendors out there that focus on, well, Aceh. Cut Marlyn Decoration is one of the few, and from what I read, see, and hear, they're the best one out there.

Looking from the work they did with the stage, flowers and decoration, it could not have been more true. Quite a few people told us that the pelaminan was amazing, beautiful, and other synonyms you can ever think of. Alhamdulillah. Tante Marlyn and her daughter, Kak Dede, were top-notch professionals who knew what they were doing.

Photo courtesy of Kak Dede

The best thing was, in my opinion, when Tante Marlyn could tell that I was uncomfortable with the sunting after they put it on for the reception. It stabbed my scalp and hurt like hell, but since I'd never worn any sunting before, I thought that was how it's supposed to feel. Ten minutes before the reception began, I struggled to throw the pain away and took a Panadol (thanks, Runi the MaHo!) and my hands were sweating. I was pretty sure I was gonna pass out, imagining I had to stand up and smile for the next 2.5 hours.

The two families were all lined up, ready to enter the reception area when Tante Marlyn suddenly halted us and said “let the guests wait.” She then walked to me, rearrange the stacks of my headpiece right there and then on the VIP dining table. She said she could tell I was in pain, and after she did her magic, I swear the pain was completely gone and the world was a better place again.

Kak Dede, left, and Tante Marlyn, right, the deadly duo of the night

Cuman emang agak berat aje.

However, there's one minor glitch from them. Days before, I'd told Kak Dede the list of people who will get their make-up done by her team, and how many family members will borrow the beskap and songket. But on the day, she arrived a bit late to PTIK and only brought two assistants. This delayed the whole preparation process and sent my mom to her highest, most crucial panic mode.

Scary.

Anyway. In the end, when the reception began, I felt like the prettiest girl in the room. And that's what mattered. I took one look at the auditorium just a nanosecond before we walked in, and it took my breath away. Cut Marlyn Decoration is really the best one out there, and it is worth every single penny.

Looking deliriously happy? Cos we were.

I'd give 4.5 out of 5 stars to Cut Marlyn Decoration. The person to contact is Kak Dede at 0811173710.

Just married

2011-11-20T15:14:00.001+07:00

D plus one.

I'm sitting in our decorated red Vantrend, with flowers, ribbons and all, on our way home from spending the night at Kempinski, courtesy of my sister.

And I'm sitting next to the driver, Mr. Husband Suryoputro.

I'm the happiest girl on earth :)

And it's you I see

2011-11-19T00:12:00.001+07:00

D minus one.

Well technically, it's past Friday. Quick recap, the Siraman and Midodareni went well and I'm the happiest Jenganten on earth. I wanted to see Bangun so much when he and his family came here, and it got even more exciting 'cos he was in the next room, yet we couldn't see each other since the groom is forbidden from seeing the bride during the Midodareni night.

Full story with pictures later. Now I gotta sleep because it's getting late and a sort of important day awaits.

I'M GETTING MARRIED! Watch this space!

The day after tomorrow

2011-11-17T19:11:00.000+07:00

D minus two.

Amid the hectic makeover of the house, I of course slipped out of it and treated myself at Martha Tilaar Salon & Day Spa. They have one branch in Bintaro, and man, it's heavenly. I took the Ken Dedes Princess Ritual package, where they scrubbed my body with Javanese mangir, among others. In short, it was worth every single penny.

Tomorrow will be the Javanese Day of the ceremony; the Siraman and Midodareni. How do I feel, one might ask.

Let me tell you for the last few days now, I've been feeling like an exclamation point. Like I need to move all the time. I'm feeling very, very bouncy, I can't even write properly.

2011-11-16T15:27:00.001+07:00

D minus three.

I can't stop moving.

Who the hell is that on the big screen?

2011-11-15T18:34:00.001+07:00

D minus four.

Almost in every wedding reception here in Indonesia, we see a slide show of pictures and videos. Mostly it's of the bride and groom's engagement pictures or a montage of the ritual ceremonies beforehand.

However, we also often see a collection of the bride and groom's childhood photos. Now this I don't understand. What are they trying to show? It's not like they were together since they were 3.

I can see how couples are probably trying to build the guests' emotions by walking down together down the memory lane. For parents and older relatives, this kind of slide show may get them in tears, going "oh look there XX was on his kindergarten talent show. Now he's a married man!"

That is, if said relatives are not busy catching up with friends or cutting a line at a food stall.

And anyway, since we had no digital technology back then, the photos are mostly scanned in a poor condition, which makes it look even more pathetic.

Embarrassing childhood photos, in my opinion, are only suitable when:

1. Your parents show it to your partner on your first date,

2. used as a gimmick on a surprise birthday and/or bachelorette parties ("Look, this little girl has grown up! Yada yada yada"),

3. simply put inside a photo album for you to reminisce when life was still simple and bright.

Whatever it is, I know what's it not for. It's not for the guests at a reception to look at, because really, no one cares how you look like as a kid.

2011-11-14T16:35:00.000+07:00

D minus five.

This morning after I had my breakfast at the office, suddenly my head felt very light. Not in a blonde-bimbo kind of way, although probably most of the time I act like one, but in a way that you'd want to sit down and can't see straight. Of course Bridezilla panicked; four days before the wedding rituals begin and I had to feel sick?!

Anyway. Everyone guessed it was a symptom of low blood pressure, which has been my case several times. However, my low blood pressure had never attacked me this bad.

Now, one cup of sweet tea and a healthy lunch later, I'm feeling a bit better. Maybe I really should take my leave earlier....

No more Bachelorette Pad for Bachelorette Ped

2011-11-13T16:15:00.000+07:00

D minus six.

Since my room's going to be the "bride's room" for the Midodareni night and a home for The Suryoputros later on, we had to rearrange it and make sure it looks decent enough to be called Kamar Manten. So last Wednesday, overnight, it went from my Bachelorette Pad:

to a room for two:

It's of course a huge change for me. I am used to living alone, sleeping alone, and having all my stuff scattered all over the place. And I mean it; all over the place. You could find a body talc in my study desk, or a pen inside one of my toilettries drawers.

Therefore, today I had to clean the life out of that desk. I spent the whole morning picking out stuff I still need and putting the rest inside storage boxes, or worse, trash bin.

Why worse? Because I hate to throw stuff away. They're all memorabilia; receipts of souvenirs I bought while going on a trip, hotel key cards, and whatnots.

Now I have to share the desk and everything else in that room with Bangun, which means I can't really keep too many unimportant nitbits anymore. Ever since the double bed came in, replacing the single one, I can't help but keep thinking, as Monica Geller once said,

I'm gonna live with a booooooooooy.

"Through chaos as it swirls..

2011-11-12T11:51:00.000+07:00

...It's us against the world."

Daily ramble: Seven days before

2011-11-12T11:49:00.000+07:00

D minus seven.

I bet the next week is gonna be the longest seven days of my life. Looking back, though, it's a bit creepy how one full year went by so quick. At the beginning, some people might be asking why did it have to take a year for us to prepare a wedding? Why not hurry, because some of the elders believe that it's bad luck to be engaged for too long a time.

Well, I'm glad we had that full year. We had all the time in the world to research, compare prices and quality for each vendor, and most importantly of course we had more time to fill the piggy bank.

And now the final week's here. Let's revisit some check list, shall we.

1. Invitation - Done. Again, do not go to Atmaraya for invitation. I'm just glad we're done with them.
2. Wedding favors - Done. All we gotta do now is to put the thank-you cards to the souvenir pouches.
3. Rings - Done, of course.
4. Kebaya for midodareni - Went for the final fitting session last night. Man, it's pretty.
5. Decorative photos - We've picked which ones, now Hilman is taking care of it.
6. Honeymoon - All set and ready to go.
7. Seserahan for Bangun - Done. I'm giving him a set of black suit including the formal shirt, pants, shoes and ties; batik shirt; toilettries; a set of towels; a bottle of perfume; baju koko, sarong and peci Aceh; and a basket of fruits. They're currently at the House of Seserahan. Do your best, Tante Mira.
8. A home for the wedding - still :|, but my mom has turned my room at home into a room for two.

Last night I had dinner with my sister, mom, and Bangun's sister, mom and sister-in-law in Kemang, after our kebaya fitting session. We chatted for ours and it hit me right there and then; I'm gonna have a very extended family in a week! And I'm glad that despite everything, they're fun to be with.

Can't wait for the late-night card games at Seroja!

One slaving bride on the loose

2011-11-11T16:49:00.000+07:00

D minus eight.

I don't know if it's pure coincidence or some kind of test from The One Above, but as we're getting nearer to the day, the workload in my office seems to be getting heavier at the same time.

There's the SEA Games events, endless CSR stunts, the internal magazine, and other stuff I'm not gonna bore you with. Here's a picture, though: I'm pretty much thrown between writing a press release, management speech, editing a magazine layout, and finalizing payments for make-up, décor, photographers, honeymoon villas, and such.

Lama-lama di press release kita curhat aja kali ya.

And also, I just found out that despite the widely-known name it holds for being one of the biggest, most strategically-located wedding venue, PTIK only accepts cash for payment.

Fishy, ain't it. Who does that nowadays? What big institution does not have a bank account?

We'll be glowing in the dark

2011-11-09T11:22:00.001+07:00

D minus ten.

I had my birthday over the weekend; that was by far the most un-birthday birthday I'd ever had, because everyone's main focus was the Pengajian for the wedding, which was deliberately held at the same day. It went pretty well, nothing big since I wanted it to be a very humble gathering where people pray for us. So it was only for my family, Runi-Bune-Rozelle, and later on Bangun's sister-in-law came with her son.

Still it was very nice to have everyone wishing you well for your birthday, plus there were wishes for the wedding.

Moving forward four days a.k.a today, Bangun's having his birthday. We're still on cloud 9 I guess, giggly and giddy and excited for the 19th.

Other people may go berserk over their missing bustier, incomplete Seserahan, mismatched menu, flower decoration, and whatever it is that pulls their veins. But currently, all we know is that when we're standing there in front of the guests after we tie the knot, nothing else will matter.

Happy birthday to us, dear future Mr. Prameshwari, and cheers to a very festive November!

In a haze, a stormy haze

2011-11-02T22:07:00.001+07:00

Just when I thought I've gone far enough into the deep, calm waters, another storm hits, bringing treacherous waves to rock this boat.

And I'm glad to know you're still here, rowing with me. Now, this boat may be rickety; other people may offer comfort in their yacht, with the lounging chairs, the bottomless French wine and all the imported meat served.

But I will do whatever it takes to stick on this one and reach that beautiful island where the rainbow waits for us.

Atmaraya: 1 of 5 stars

2011-11-01T14:06:00.001+07:00

So here's why I don't recommend Atmaraya to you good people out there. Or is it Atma Raya?

Sometime in September, we finalized the deal to print 600 invitations with a bonus of 700 thank-you notes with Vian, one of their marketers, I suppose, since he's always at the front desk serving the customers. After negotiating, we settled a price and a deadline, all written in the bill.

Vian wrote that by Oct. 5, our invitations would be ready. Since it was a weekday, we agreed to pick up the invitations on Oct. 8, while the thank-you notes were scheduled to be taken later.

Fast forward to Oct. 3, when I called Vian to tell him I had just sent an email of the design for the thank-you notes. I asked him casually about the invitations since Oct. 5 was two days away. And he answered, even more casually, that they were yet to be printed, and that “hopefully” it would be done by Oct. 8.

I asked, “Lho kan nulisnya selesai tanggal 5, Mas?”

You know what he said?

“Ya kan itu nulis doang, Mbak.”

…

From there, everything was going downhill. A hundred phone calls later, I went to Pasar Tebet on Oct. 8 to get the invitations with Bangun's mom. They told us the cards would be ready at 3 p.m., but when we arrived, the shop looked like a mess and my invitations were far from ready.

In the end, the finished at 8.30 p.m. Eight fuckin thirty. Gak enak yaa sama camer yaa. Plus, I and (what we assume was) the manager yelled at each other because he wanted us to pay the full bill while the thank-you notes were still unclear. I mean, seeing how slow they work, how could I get a guarantee that they would work on the notes?

However, we are satisfied with the result. Their quality is not bad, although I think the envelopes could have been improved.

In short, Atmaraya is not recommended because the way they handle customers is beyond awful. Too bad because they do have the skill to produce high-quality cards, but it seems that they don't try to impress their customers at all. The way they talk with half-smiles, the way they answer questions half-heartedly, the way they seem to think that customers have to follow the way they work..it's not worth the price, nor your time.

Look around more. I believe most vendors in Pasar Tebet are better, although their prices might be higher. According to my survey though, do consider Batang Printing in the left side of the basement. They offered us a very nice price but we had to reject because they couldn't meet our deadline.

Well at least someone's being honest about it.

Single No More!

2011-10-31T14:31:00.001+07:00

Last Saturday night, what I feared (but expected) would happen, happened. I got a surprise hen night with some of my closest friends and family. In a nutshell, it was the best get-together I had ever been in. And for the first time in my life, someone threw a surprise party for me.

Kayak di film-film gitu.

Runi and Dinda my sister were the two masterminds behind this. They invited me to this “casual hen dinner” on Senopati, and Runi picked me up and told me Dinda was meeting us there. She forced me to wear this beautiful, hand-made white veil which everybody looked at all the way there.

We reached the place with Rozelle and just like in the movies, I was greeted by a “surprise!” yell from the faces I knew. I saw friends from college, from Jakarta Globe, and also the supercool in-laws.

The rest of the night went too quickly and in a bit of a blur. I laughed, I ate, I drank, I was humiliated; it was truly a night to remember. For a few hours, my mind was free from thinking about the wedding because I was too busy having fun.

Cheers to everyone who made it there and special kudos to Runi and Dinda who managed to track down and call my friends, arrange the venue, hand-made the veil, tiaras and—of course—weewee-shaped straws as souvenirs. Also, you guys managed to blend all the groups of friends in one table. I don't think I could ever do that.

In pictures, I went from this happy bride:

To this of Chucky's in a few hours:

That's it, this bride's gonna be taken in the next two++ weeks!

2011-10-25T14:36:00.002+07:00

Last night we said goodbye 'cos he had to fly to Balikpapan today for three weeks. The next time we see each other will (Insya Allah) be after he says his Ijab Qabul.

Dial down the crazy flutters, dear butterflies.

At the far end of the plank

2011-10-21T13:23:00.002+07:00

Can you hear the wedding bells already?

Well of course there won't be any, but good God people, it's less than a month away! Invitations are labeled, the suntings and beskaps are packed, the menu's set, you get the gist.

First off let me tell you, I love the rings. They turned out to look exactly like how I'd imagined it would. I think it's the only vendor that could meet 100 percent of my expectation. Kudos to Kaliem Blok M Square.

Pardon the hairy fingers.

So, rings are done, invitations are also done. There's a huge drama behind, which requires a whole other post to describe. In a nutshell, Atmaraya produces good-quality invitations, but their management and customer service is beyond horrible. Not worth the satisfying result.

Favors are also done. We are giving away a set of coasters to the guests, nicely packed in a small tulle bag. Sadly, I just realised I didn't know the name of that store in Asemka, but the person to call is Mbak Dian at 0815 8677 9257. Great service, pretty packaging, and el cheapo.

What's not so el cheapo, however, is the honeymoon budget. Seems like everyone is vaycay-ing in romantic resorts in Bali, cos almost every villa we had our eyes for were full. Thankfully, there's this one villa in Seminyak that offers what we want, only with a price higher than our budget. But it's available, so.

Anyway, we're still looking for some place to stay at Gili Trawangan. In addition, I have to have fresh water running in the villa instead of sea water, which I heard is the case for most villas in Gili T. Tuan Putri nggak bisa lah ya mandi air asin gitu.

Another progress is for Bangun's seserahan. In the boxes, he will find:

- Batik shirts
- A set of suit, formal pants, formal shirt and a couple of ties (for this, I was finally able to drag him to shop at Topshop and co!)
- Acehnese peci and sarung
- Baju koko
- Formal shoes
- A set of towel
- Perfume

So far, only baju koko that's still unchecked. Any idea where to find one with nice design? I find baju kokos look all the same in department stores.

With this progress, I'm pretty confident we're all set for the 19th. Beware for more nonsense posts like this one, though.

Tu me manques

2011-10-10T07:45:00.001+07:00

You would've been 60 today.

Let me guess--we would've been celebrating it by having dinner somewhere.
You would've told me to order the finest foods combined,
And then we'd open the wine bottle--because you're classy like that.

We would've talked about work.
You would've asked me how I was doing, followed by some advice on dealing with stupid bureaucracy.
You would've told us how in your office, the know-it-all colleagues annoyed you.
Or how hard it was to convince the office to save a tree from being exploited.
Because you're a thoughtful hard worker like that.

Of course we would've talked about the wedding.
You would've kept our feet on the ground, preventing us from getting crazy.
You would've told me to calm down, take everything one by one and provide me the most logical answers to my outrageous concerns.
You would've joked if I was ready to marry your son.

And then you would've made me say yes simply by showing your affection toward your family.
Because you're fatherly heart-warming like that.

Happy birthday, Om Adjie. I still wish they would name that tree you saved after you.

But most of all, I still wish you'd be there next month so I can officially call you Bapak.

Still pending

2011-10-05T10:12:00.001+07:00

OK so the post below was about the preparation we've done. Now, what about the rest?

Dare we?

1. Invitation - Atma Raya Printing, Pasar Tebet
I know we're a bit cari mati, having the invitations printed "only" two months before the wedding. So now I'm waiting for Atma Raya to pack those pieces of embossed papers and give me a ring. Or else there will be blood, I warn you.

2. Wedding favors - Asemka
Funny story. Since the very beginning of the preparation, we've always wanted to give the guests a set of blank cards and small envelopes. Nothing else. We would have them printed in the same vendor that print our invitations, therefore it wouldn't be much of a hassle. I really couldn't think of anything better to give.

However, all of a sudden, I was hunting for my Siraman souvenirs in Asemka when I saw these other options. A few phone calls later with Bangun, we decided to completely ditch the blank card idea. And now the favors are being wrapped, waiting to be picked up on Saturday. Talk about impulsive buy.

3. Rings - Kaliem
They should have called me days ago, but they haven't. Be prepared for some wrath, Kaliem guys.

4. Kebaya for Midodareni - Tante Dewi
Tante Dewi is a friend of Bangun's mom. Honestly I don't know when she will finish the Kebaya; I just hope the backless model I chose will be suitable with my recently cold-prone body.

5. Decorative photos
In the reception hall, we're gonna put up framed old pictures and a few of the engagement pictures we took recently. This is far from done, cos we're still due one more photo session and we haven't bought the frames.

6. Honeymoon - Gili Trawangan and Bali
Plane tickets are secured. However, we're still going back and forth (and back and forth..and back) on the accommodation. Surprisingly, finding a perfect, secluded-yet-strategically-located villa in Bali is not easy.

7. Seserahan for Bangun
This is still absurd. I have a list, but it's not final yet, so maybe I'll just bang my head three times on the window and the stuff will come flying through it. Decorated in boxes please, thank you.

8. A home for after the wedding
:|

October already? Get out.

2011-10-03T20:22:00.000+07:00

Now that October's here, let's do a little recap of what we've done, about six weeks before the big day.

1. Venue: Done, no problem so far.

2. Decoration: Cut Marlyn
Practically everything's set up for the reception, but we still have to settle the decor for the akad, which will take place in the room next to the auditorium. Color theme for the reception stage is gold and off white, while for the akad is a mix of bright red and gold. How more Sumatran do you think we could get, huh?

3. Outfit for the bride and groom: Cut Marlyn
We've picked which ones, and will probably do one more fitting session before the day. It's gonna be a mix of gold and off white for the akad, and red-gold for the reception. Yes, the exact opposite of the decor. Right? Right?

4. Outfit for family and friends: Cipadu (forgot the store's name), Ikobana and Fancy in Mayestik
We're done picking the color and the fabric, and I hope everyone has theirs sitting pretty in the tailors. I don't care how you're gonna wear it, as long as it doesn't show too much skin. Or else the elderly Acehnese relatives would go bonkers. Did I just say bonkers?

5. Catering: Dwi Tunggal Citra
I don't really feel like talking about this. Not because they're not good, believe me, it's for internal reasons. Right now, as long as there are foods in my wedding, I'll be OK.

6. Photo/Video: Lightbrush
This is the one vendor that we haven't talked to since we made a deal a few months ago. But I trust Mbak Indri and Mas Peppy to do what they do best.

7. Band: Laili (and friends?)
I don't know what Laili my high school friends call her band, but anyway now all we gotta do is convince them to play our requests. Dance to Smashing Pumpkins, anyone?

8. Seserahan
I think it's done. This is the list for my seserahan boxes:
- Kebaya, bought in Cipadu
- Songket, from Bangun's aunt
- Baju kurung, also from Bangun's aunt
- A set of towels, what else but Terry Palmer
- A set of body care products, by Body Shop
- A Zara clutch
- A Promod black dress
- A pair of black pumps, by Little Things She Needs
- A Longchamp bag, again, thanks to Bangun's aunt
- A bottle of perfume, which I don't know what, so obviously it's from Bangun's aunt
- Mukena from my mom, in which case Bangun has to pretend to buy it from her
- A party clutch, from this place called Elittas in Bintaro that specializes in making clutches and party shoes
- A SONY PJ SERIES CAMCORDER OMG Bangun Suryoputro you are an angel if you're really gonna buy this.

9. MC for akad and reception: One of my relatives, hopefully she'll ace it.

10. Traditional Acehnese dances: My sister and her friends from her dance studio
We will have not one, but two Acehnese dances performed in the reception. Look forward to it, (invited) people! They're really good!

11. Makeup: Ratu Wedding and Cut Marlyn
For the bride and groom, Ratu Wedding will do their magic and turn this pimple land they call a face into something worth remembering for a lifetime. As for the others, we'll settle for Cut Marlyn.

12. Inai: Rinda's Henna
So far, Kak Rinda has been very helpful and the price is also not bad at all. Her designs are not too scary-looking, and she can also color your nails with nail polish instead of creepy, red henna.

There's still quite a few stuff that didn't make it to this list, a.k.a not done yet. In the meantime, let's raise our shot glasses to juggling the wedding preparation, meeting a deadline to publish an in-house magazine and (still) working on annual planning FY 2012!

Reminder: This is (still) not a wedding blog

2011-09-29T09:44:00.000+07:00

Well, what the hey. I just installed the one compulsory widget any wedding blogger should have: The Daisypath.

I mean, why don't we get more jittery than we already are by counting down the days 'til we say the vows, right?

Lifetime accessories

2011-09-27T16:33:00.001+07:00

One of my most favorite accessories to shop for is ring. I like looking at, buying, and wearing rings on my fingers in any occasion. Therefore, when it comes to wedding band, I figured it would be easy to pick because I easily like rings.

Wrong.

The one thing of this wedding preparation that I couldn't make up my mind about was the ring. That's why I have never talked about it until now, 'cos up to last week, I didn't have any slightest picture on how our rings would look like.

Of course, like most engaged (Muslim) couple, there was the debate on whether we should opt for gold, white gold, platinum, or palladium. According to Islam, men are not allowed to wear yellow gold just as they are prohibited from wearing 100-percent silk on their body. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Meanwhile, (I think) I want yellow gold as my ring. But then again if Bangun wears a silvery color, it means our rings will look different. Even though really no one but us will give a damn about it.

Beneran deh, kurang penting banget dilema ini.

So anyway, knowing we had to make a decision at some point before November, we went to Kaliem in Blok M Square to buy the one jewelry item that will stay in my finger forever. Ain't. That. Choking.

Kaliem has always been my mom's favorite store when shopping for gold jewelry, so we decided to order the rings there. Believe me, it was not an easy process. We spent practically the whole afternoon trying on those rings, I have to raise my glass for the man behind the counter who served us. Patiently, he sketched and took notes of our requests, because of course we want rings that are not on display.

In short, my ring will be in yellow gold with a very thin white gold line and a tiny diamond in the middle, and Bangun's will wear a full white gold one. I think.

Will post pictures after the rings are made, which should be sometime next week, but right now I'm feeling queasy thinking about whether it will meet our requests. I have been crossing my fingers too often, I'm gonna mistake my index finger for the middle one.

Jadi manten emang mesti berlebihan dramanya

Fifty three days before

2011-09-26T16:49:00.002+07:00

Welcoming two new vendors in our list: First is my good friend from high school, Laili, and her band. As I once said, music is an important aspect of our life. Therefore, when it comes to wedding singer, I don't want to pick random jazzy band to perform random Jason Mraz/Michael Buble songs on repeat with bad pronunciation.

After an even more mind-boggling hunt, our choice fell on Laili. We (I, Bangun and Laili) went to the same class for a year in high school, and I know her taste in music and her singing style.

And so it's a deal. Now I'm just hoping she'll accept my song list without crossing my name from her list of friends.

Second vendor is Ratu Wedding for my makeup. Have I mentioned before, I'm not quite sure about Cut Marlyn's makeup? They are not bad, but they're just not my taste. I worship the quality of their décor and traditional costume collection, but if there is one flaw of the vendor, it's their bridal makeup.

Naturally, I started looking for another vendor. It wasn't easy. Since Cut Marlyn didn't want to deduct the package price even though we took out the makeup service (which is a bit evil, if I may add), we of course had to expand our budget for this. And tell me, dear readers, tell me any easy way to talk a man into spending even more money for a look that will last five hours on top of bulging expenses to throw a "party" for 1,200++ guests?

But thankfully Bangun understands.

I guess.

He said he understood how makeup is the most important thing to me (can I get a hell yeah, fellow brides?) but still reminded me to look for someone with a sensible price tag.

After a few weeks of browsing, calling, getting frustrated, considering going back to Cut Marlyn, and some more browsing, I found out that Ratu Wedding offered a very friendly price. Long story short, we made a deal and life is starting to look good again.

It's D-53, people, let's all show our steady hands and breeeeeeeeeathe!

2011-09-20T09:30:00.001+07:00

Between preparing the wedding, organizing an office Halal Bi Halal and working on my department's annual budgeting FY 2012, I'm as dead as a rat on a highway.

One more progress

2011-09-12T11:55:00.001+07:00

Finally, after a nerve-wrecking postpone, we handed the designs for the invitation to the printing vendor yesterday. After walking around the humid basement of Pasar Tebet and nearly getting mad over the words emboss, polyemboss, emboss mutiara, emboss buta and all that crap, we opted for one vendor....upstairs.

It's separated from the other shops in the basement, yet somehow it was the only one that we clicked with. Call me weird, but during this shindig's preparation, I find that chemistry with the vendors is important. No matter how good their product/service is, if I don't feel the chemistry with the people in it, then it's a no-no.

Anyway, Mas Vyan of this printing shop said the invitations should be ready in three weeks from the day we approve the design, whereas other vendors said it would take four. What's more nerve-wrecking was that almost everyone in every shop we went to told us "Wah kok bikin undangannya mepet ya Mas, Mbak, November kan sebentar lagi."

Bridezilla no likey. Bridezilla no need no one to tell that to her face. Grr.

So what's next? Well, good readers (which probably mean one or two of you), y'all better cross your fingers and hope that we will see the finished invitation within the next month. In the meantime, here's a sneak peek:

The inside part

The front part

The greatest gift for a corporate slave

2011-08-27T05:28:00.001+07:00

--other than your boss telling you to "go home and start celebrating Idul Fitri" at 2 p.m.-- is to turn off your daily alarm, knowing you don't have to turn it on for the next full week.

Happy holidays and Idul Fitri to all of you 8-to-5, commuting, children-leaving, boring-dark-suit-clad corporate slaves.

May we get our freedom soon.

Between the house chores and the job desc

2011-08-25T17:00:00.000+07:00

Well, hello, new layout. Blog-five.

A new blog design during office hours means I'm either bored or got no task to do, or both. Therefore, let's talk about something related to the, what else, wedding.

Actually it's more related to the marriage. People have asked me whether I will be a working wife or a stay-at-home one. It has been a popular topic in forums, and here's my two cents.

Growing up wiith a single mother, I've always been taught to earn my own living. To use my education, my talents, whatever I have in this head, to make money and never depend on anyone else, even my future husband.

On the contrary, The Mister seems to have grown up in a family where the man feeds his wife and children, and the mother bears the responsibility to look after the household, from all aspects.

This can become a potential issue for us, but luckily so far, we're still on the same boat. As much as I respect a housewife and her huge responsibility to keep the family boat from falling apart, I don't think I am ready to be one. I like earning my own money. I like knowing that what I got in me can give me a reward. And it won't hurt to put those long 17 years of education into use, will it?

True, some say being a housewife also requires skills that cannot be underestimated. To be able to manage the family's financial balance while making sure the bills are paid on time, dishes are clean, and the kids are growing up fine is a surely one of the toughest, incomparable job descs in the world. But to me, being a housewife is a natural obligation of marrying a man. Whether you're working your ass 8 to 5 or not, you are a housewife; it's not an option. So all these debates about which one is better really doesn't make sense.

Of course I am speaking blindly without any experience. Kalo udah ngerasain pulang kantor jam 9 malem diteror cucian kotor sama anak mewek, mungkin beda lagi perspektifnya. Tapi mudah-mudahan enggak, sih. And by the way, I do plan to stay at home for a few years when we're having kids.

So how about us? What will I be?

You see, with Bangun's current job, there is a big opportunity for him to be stationed in Balikpapan, his very own hometown. I don't wanna be in a long-distance marriage so when it happens, I'm coming with him. Which means I have to lose my job here; a not-so-shabby job in a blue-chip, definitely-not-shabby consumer goods company. I don't know how the job market is in Balikpapan, I know nothing about the city, let alone its work opportunities.

Will I be a stay-at-home wife with no job, then?

Well, the dream is to find a freelance gig in writing. But again, I can't say much because I'm not there yet. Who knows, I'll be so caught up in house chores, I won't have the energy to work in an office?

Work or no work, it's time to start thinking and acting like a housewife.

faints

2011-08-23T18:47:00.001+07:00

If there's one thing that scares me prior to entering marriage, it's my sisters-in-law's stories about bleeding nipples while breast-feeding their first-borns.

Holy cow (milk).

In my dream last night,

2011-08-20T13:42:00.001+07:00

We were having the reception, but it wasn't in PTIK. The place was more like a pendopo; like one of those Sasono's in Taman Mini. Anyway in my dream I walked along the red carpet up to the stage, worrying about how I looked. A few people whispered I looked pretty, but when I caught myself in a mirrored wall, my face looked very round-shaped and I didn't like it.

What's weirder was when I got to the stage, I realized the groom wasn't there. And then when the traditional dance started, it wasn't Saman or anything close to Acehnese dances, but it was some GSP-orchestrated number. Yes, all in colorful costume with over-the-top moves.

It didn't stop there. Suddenly Bangun arrived next to me, with a gold oversized beskap. WTF. He panicked because of that, which got me even more panicked. But what did we do? We took our brand-new camcorder (in real life, we are saving to buy one) and shoot the guests from the stage.

And then the dream ended. What. The. Hell.

Progress Report: Skip When Bored

2011-08-19T10:30:00.002+07:00

Well, hello, it's been a while. Worry not, because I'm still in one piece despite the fact that the wedding is in less than 100 days.

Let's take a look at the updates, shall we.

1.Seserahan
After a while, buying things for seserahan did get more fun. Here's what we've got so far:
1. ~~Kebaya~~ + Kain batik
2. Bedsheets
3. ~~Body care products~~ + ~~a set of towels~~
4. ~~Black dress~~ + ~~make-up set~~
5. Baju muslim/mukenah
6. ~~A pair of shoes~~ + ~~everyday clutch~~
7. Fruits/Sweets

2.Uniform
DONE. In a nutshell, being a true Sumatran wedding, it's going to be colorful. I'm gonna wear dark red, both mothers are wearing dark green, sisters will be in navy blue, sisters-in-law in dark brown, relatives in purple and gold, and tosca green for my friends. Can't wait to see them in pictures.

3.Honeymoon
Got the tickets for Jakarta-Bali and Bali-Lombok at quite a good deal with (hopefully) a reliable airline. However, due to the schedule, we have to fly with Wings Air for the Bali-Lombok trip. Wish us luck. The homework now is to pick the best accommodation.

4. Invitation
Finally went to Pasar Tebet last weekend, and once Runi the Designer-Slash-Maho is done with the final design, we can have it printed.

5.Band
We still don't have a wedding singer. I repeat, we still don't have a wedding singer.

I think that's about it for now. This is such a flat-toned post so I will probably be back soon with more drama. On an unrelated note, can I just say that I may be growing an inevitable hatred toward my boss?

As I pull my hair one by one..

2011-07-27T18:39:00.002+07:00

15 weeks to go.
Badan udah kurus?
Jerawat udah ilang?
Undangan udah bikin?
Souvenir udah pesen?
Perangkat siraman udah siap?
Band udah dapet?
Tiket + akomodasi bulan madu udah dipesen?
Seserahan udah lengkap?
Kebaya buat midodareni/inai udah dijait?
Beskap saudara-saudara udah diitung?
Peci Aceh udah dipesen?
Sepatu udah pesen?
TEMPAT TINGGAL ABIS NIKAH UDAH ADA?
TEMPAT TINGGAL ABIS NIKAH UDAH ADA?
TEMPAT TINGGAL ABIS NIKAH UDAH ADA?

I think a new zit just formed.

Best version of the intro so far

2011-07-08T20:37:00.002+07:00

Check out 4:11 on the right side of the frame and if that ain't love then I don't know what is. Also, of course, what up B? *cue Bonnie and Clyde intro*

This is just to cross something off the big list

2011-07-07T20:21:00.000+07:00

Back when I still couldn't care less about marriage, I always thought I'd want a wedding because of one thing; to have seserahan handed over to me. I mean, tell me if there is any better tradition than to ask for clothes, shoes, bags, and whatever it is you want to your fiance.

Now, as November's getting closer, surprisingly my enthusiasm to look for seserahan is nearing rock bottom. It's somehow complicated and dreadful to think that I have to buy all those things, have them wrapped, only to be ripped open where? In my room. Where maybe only ten people will see.

Don't get me wrong, I love to shop. I can be very depressed if I don't see any mall for a straight few weeks. It's just that..I don't know what I want. I feel that seserahan must be something I'll remember for good, not just any gifts. I think there's a pressure in the idea, and that's why I've been back and forth in deciding what I want.

However, after a few alterations here and there, here's what I and Bangun came up with for his seserahan gifts for me, and what we can cross off our list so far, thanks to Jakarta Great Sale:

Kebaya + Kain batik
Bedsheets
Body care products + A set of towels
~~Black dress~~ + Make-up set
Baju Muslim/Mukenah
A pair of shoes + ~~Everyday clutch~~
Fruits/Sweets

This month should be the best time to buy the rest, since the sale is on. Yet I just don't have that same...spark I had when thinking about seserahan a few years back. Rasanya tuh uangnya mendingan dipake buat beli kasur King Koil atau jamban Toto atau kompor Modena.

Uh-oh am I growing up and becoming a boring ibu-ibu?

Home is where the manicured public lawn is

2011-07-03T10:22:00.000+07:00

This is still related to the previous post. As a future newlywed, I am looking forward to starting a life together with The Mister, wherever it may be.

Just as long as it's not in our parents' house.

So we are now boggling our mind, body and soul to look for a house. Our latest option is to buy an empty lot and have the house built according to our own design. However, there's the size, price, and location to consider.

Speaking of location, there's this dilemma of living inside or outside a cluster. Living inside a cluster means higher price, naturally, and there is a possibility that we have to match the design of our house to the rest in the area. Whereas an empty lot outside a cluster usually costs cheaper as they're owned mostly by native Betawi people.

I of course want to buy a land with a lower price and allocate the budget to build the best house possible. But I grew up in cluster houses—all 27 years of my life. And I can't help thinking whether I want to raise a family in a...less developed area or not. I can't help but think that I don't want my kids to come home one afternoon after playing with the neighbors with jargons like “Mak, minta makan dah” or “Set dah tadi abis main gim ama si Ariel seru bener!”

Or worse, I don't want them to come home with a new vocab to swear every single day.

Snob? Maybe. However, I am willing to be proven wrong in this case. I need to be reassured that if we do opt to live outside a comfy, safe-haven that is mid-class cluster in Bintaro, we can still grow beautiful children with nice, humbling environment.

It's about making it together

2011-06-30T12:32:00.000+07:00

One of the most nagging questions to ask prior to tying the knot is “mau tinggal di mana nanti setelah nikah?” (Other questions include when we will have a baby and whether I'll turn into a full-time housewife or not after getting married. More on this later.)

So, yeah. Where will we stay after The Day?

To be honest, I have no idea. One thing for sure is that I don't want to live with the parents, mine or his. I repeat, I do not want to live under the same roof with either Mom. Why? Because even though I love both my and his mother with all my heart, to me, getting married means starting a new life together.

And if a guy is ready to marry me, it ~~should~~ must mean that he is ready to live with me and me only. Ready to put a roof above my head, ready to start main rumah-rumahan together, be it in an apartment, a house in a suburban cluster, or a rented room somewhere. Sure, being a spoiled brat that I am, it's gonna be tough at first. I don't know how to cook, I know shit about plumbing and electricity, and don't even start with using the right cleaner for the right room.

But that's the fun. I want that chaos right from Day 1 as a family. I want to argue over the brand of cleaner we'll use to mop the floor, or scold Bangun for leaving the phone adaptor plugged in 24/7. I want to discuss what flowers we will put on the porch, on the den, or how many framed pictures we will hang on the wall in our living room.

Now, about four and a half months before the wedding, we still have nowhere to live. There have been candidates from lousy, el cheapo apartments, mid-class studio, secondhand suburban houses, and the latest addition to the confusion, an empty lot where we can build our own dream house.

I must admit, the latest option seems the best. We can design our own rooms, and of course my own library. However, it's harder to look for one that fits our criteria; size, price, and location.

There's also one more thing: if we want to build the house from scratch, we have to rent a place somewhere while waiting for the construction phase. Which means more money to spend.

I know some of my friends who stay in their parents' houses after getting married, and their argument mostly floats around “Nemenin nyokap/bokap tinggal sendirian,” “Masih belajar menyesuaikan diri hidup sama suami,” to what I think is da bomb: “Ya mumpung masih bisa nebeng, ngapain hidup sendiri? Bersyukur aja masih bisa hidup dibayarin sama orang tua.”

While I highly respect their decision, let me just say in this journal of mine,

Ya ngapain lo kawin kalo gitu, Nyet.

Well, I'm sold

2011-06-20T17:56:00.000+07:00

Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups

But in the meantime I've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road
Knee deep snow
Watching the fire as we grow old

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done

How many acres how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbors and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road
Knee deep snow
Watching the fire as we grow old
Old dirt road
Rambling rose
Watching the fire as we grow well I'm sold
(Feist, Mushaboom)

Offers I can never refuse

2011-06-15T19:06:00.003+07:00

One (more) thing I learned during this wedding preparation process is how to decline vendors.

When we first started hunting for caterers and photographers, of course we left my number and e-mail everywhere to look for the best offers. But now that we've slowly made up our minds, it's time to turn down the other candidates who keep calling and asking whether we've made a decision or not.

Those marketing people may be mercilessly deceitful and fake, but let me tell you one thing; I don't have the heart to hear them say "oh ya udah nggak apa-apa Mbak" after I tell them goodbye over the phone.

So what do I do? I end up lying, and not very good at it. Let's just say I'm choosing all "my relatives" to do the foods, the photos, videos, engagement pictures, bands.....

And yet still I give them hope that there's still a chance to hire them somewhere in the process.

"Kayaknya mau pake sodara.. Tapi mungkin albumnya mau bikin di situ sih Mbak," was the latest. While I know there's no way I'm contacting them again.

Maaf ya, vendors. Kita hanya belum jodoh, kok.

Just a reminder of what I live for

2011-06-10T19:39:00.003+07:00

[photo courtesy of Bloomberg Business Week]

Or

[image courtesy of journalism.columbia.edu]

[Yes, it was once tagged in my jeans. But I still want the real gig]

And

[photo courtesy of scrapetv.com]

And in a longer run, maybe

[image courtesy of pulitzer.org]

And of course, when the sun finally sets, this wouldn't hurt

Latest update

2011-06-07T13:22:00.000+07:00

Welcoming Lightbrush to our vendors' list.

My first impression at the owners, Mbak Indri and Mas Peppy, is that they are lovely. Add it to the fact that their portfolio is, as Barney Stinson would say, awesome, and there you go; the right chemistry is built.

Now, that may sound bull, but I believe we have to have a right chemistry with our vendors for this wedding, or else I won't hire them.

Thanks Laila and Kania for introducing me to Lightbrush. Here's hoping the pictures and videos will be as satisfying as my first impression.

First task of being an imam to the family

2011-06-06T13:12:00.003+07:00

Ever since we decided to have the reception in PTIK, it has been settled that we would have our nuptial ceremony in the academy's mosque. I'm not a religious person, but I think to have the holy ceremony inside a holy venue is, well, perfect. I could already imagine the quietness inside as Bangun would say his vow, surrounded by a humbling atmosphere. We would be, after all, in God's house.

Eh, bener kan ya, mesjid rumah Allah?

Anyway, technically, every thing has also been settled. The decoration, the proper outfit to tie the knot inside a mosque, the food arrangements, all done.

Then on Saturday, Bangun told me what he'd just found out; that having a nuptial ceremony in a mosque was never a recommendation at all. If anything, contrary to popular belief, it can lead people to commit sins. Why? Because we, the hosts, cannot guarantee that our guests will dress and behave properly when they enter the mosque. We can't even guarantee that we will.

This was told by Bangun's colleague who, according to him, has a broad knowledge of Islam. Not wanting to believe in one man's opinion, I spent the afternoon Googling the issue. And it came up with the same argument; that no one in Islamic history ever suggested Muslims to get married inside a mosque.

Because who can guarantee that we and the guests will cover our body properly? That we will wear just a moderate amount of make-up? That our aunts, if not us, will not wear bling-bling rocks so big, it will blind the sun? That as a form of respect, we will take our wudhu and pray upon entering the mosque?

Again, I'm not a religious person. But as my man, the future imam to my family, said, as grand as getting married in a mosque will be, why stain our first step of marriage with potential sins?

PS: I'd really love to discuss this further. So to you silent readers out there, this would be the perfect time to come out and let me know what you think.

Just a casual check

2011-05-16T15:10:00.000+07:00

Back to counting down the wedding. Six months, not exactly five as written before, and what's left to do in the agenda?

Invitation
Souvenir
Photo + Videographer
Rings
Pick a band for the reception
Stuff for Siraman
Frames for engagement pics
Family meeting: Who will take care of the foods, the guestbooks, the changing rooms?
Kebaya for parents, siblings, relatives and friends
Beskap for family
What to wear for Pengajian?
How will we have the Pengajian?
Seserahan
Boxes for seserahan
Shoot self
And/or flee.

Work is where the heart is

2011-05-06T15:42:00.000+07:00

I like stability. I like knowing several things in life are well-planned, therefore there's no excuse for them to fail. I like them well-executed, with satisfying results. Including my jobs. Part of the reason I moved to this huge, listed company was because it offered me stability from Day 1.

However, as days rolled by, I learned that this place is your typical Indonesian institution with bureaucracy and politics that are slowly eating your flesh from the inside. I'd like to explain more, but I don't feel right exposing internal office affairs on such a public place.

Bottomline is, I think I want out.

Now on the other hand, there is this...door that suddenly just opened up to these opportunities. I can go back doing what I like most; writing. And this time, it's for international readers. It may even lead to my ultimate dream job, which is to work for this particular news agency.

Now of course everything has a catch. It's gonna be a freelance gig, so there's no fixed monthly income, there's no insurance scheme paid, and definitely no annual bonuses. Or MSG-filled freebies.

Is it time to leave this evil corporate world behind and work whenever I want to, wherever my so-called passion bring me to? Is it time to organize my own working schedule every day? To write four, five hours a day and then do whatever I like to pursue, like dancing lessons, Pilates classes, language courses, mall-hopping, mall-hopping, mall-hopping?

Is it time to live life?

Halfway there

2011-05-06T14:01:00.001+07:00

Lima setengah bulan lagi.

...until Nov. 19. That's less than half a year away. That's no longer than 28 weeks. What have we achieved so far? Only venue, decoration, and caterer.

Oh, and a possible set of engagement pictures. I always avoided having my engagement pictures, or as it is widely known here, pre-wed photos, taken. Why? Because it's crap. Because not for once have I seen a good engagement picture that is not tacky nor over-the-top.

However, Bangun recently argued that if we can take one decent picture, we can have it framed and put it on our wall, wherever our home is. That's one reason. Also, our friend proposed to be the photographer for free, and he will take care of the frames for the reception. Plus, I went to a high school friend's wedding the other day and really liked what he did for the engagement pics. So I said yes to the offer.

Off we went, on a cloudy Saturday afternoon, to this two venues to feel what it was like to be models. In a nutshell, we were too busy cursing and laughing at ourselves because we couldn't get any cheesier. Our poses were what I hated seeing in couples; holding hands, looking at each other, standing under a tree. Good thing I wasn't wearing a fancy dress and heavy make-up.

Looking at the result, I think it's still unlikely to put the photos up in the reception. Note to self: I better come up with a better concept in the next five months.

Five months!

A shot at a healthy life

2011-04-14T12:43:00.005+07:00

Let's all be vain and talk about body weight for a while.

All my life, I am proud and thankful to say that I have a body that is...that looks healthy enough. OK by healthy I mean skinny. By skinny I mean I used to be the envy of my friends. I was that skinny bitch you secretly hate for not having to worry about anything while eating all the sugary desserts and greasy steaks.

But that was then. Now, as I get older, I can't deny the fact that when I look in the mirror, what used to be bones sticking out are...well, meat. I need a diet.

I know a few friends might say I'm an ungrateful Not just to get the look, but to live healthier. Like it or not, now I have to start thinking of cholesterol and sugar intake every time I eat. That, plus my mom's been a stage mom when it comes to body weight, because apparently she was so much thinner than I am now when she was at my age. You should really see her face when I told her I gained two kilos last week. Relax Mom, I don't have STDs.

So anyway, I've been looking at diet programs that are not torturing. But they're all a bit complicated to apply, what with counting the calories, fat to burn, etc, etc.

Enter dear future sister-in-law, with her own program that basically allows only a small amount of sugar every day. I witnessed how she lost a few kilos after trying this for a few weeks. Here are the sacrifices:

Breakfast: 4 sehat 5 sempurna, with low-fat milk
10 a.m.: fruits
Lunch: 4 sehat
4 p.m.: fruits
Dinner, no later than 7 p.m.: 4 sehat

No potato, flour-based foods, and sweet drinks allowed.

I guess it means no Bebek Slamet, no martabak, no smoked ox-tongue, and no Betty Crocker brownies for a while. Hmm.

I'll get back to you in a few weeks.

Have you met My Brain?

2011-04-05T21:00:00.001+07:00

It has two feet that can outrun me ahead, way ahead. And when it looks back, its eyes pierce into mine with a look that is not scary, but taunting. Like it knows something I don't; a place so dark it can asphyxiate me.

Somehow, that look always stops me dead on my track. Not wanting to move, not wanting to walk even one tiny inch forward.

Especially not down the aisle.

2011-03-20T22:10:00.002+07:00

As if the sky was in tears,
Those six simple words
Washed out the firecrackers I held in my hand
For the last six years

That great love sound

2011-02-14T17:14:00.002+07:00

Let's jump ahead of ourselves, out of this endless pit of options called catering service. Let's discuss about what I think is one of the most important aspect of a wedding; the music.

I love music. I grew up being a fangirl of bands ranging from Take That to Ash. I used to take music seriously, and my dream was to be a rock star. Really. Even though that dream started to fade away completely when I tried to teach myself how to play guitar and failed miserably. And that was the closest thing I ever got to being a rock goddess. That, and Guitar Hero.

However, despite the failed attempt to nail a musical instrument, I keep being an avid music listener. That said, I don't want my wedding to be filled with trashes people call love songs. Thank God I am marrying a guy who is just as enthusiastic as I am to music...plus he's hell good at playing any kind of instrument. And I mean, any. I hate him for that.

So of course, we want the music to be perfect. I do, at least. Personally, deep down inside, I think the music in my reception is more important than the foods. People might say, "who will pay attention to the music anyway?" Well I do. I will pay attention and I want the musicians to play the songs at the party I'll remember for the rest of my life.

Needless to say, we've made our own list of songs that will be played in the wedding. And they're not just any songs you can find in most wedding receptions. I won't spill the list, but it includes, among others, Glen Hansard, Marketa Irglova, and Ryan Adams.

Which brings us to the problem: where are we gonna find a nice, affordable set of musicians who will play the songs we picked?

We don't want a loud band with complete set of guitars, a bass, a keyboard, plus two vocalists. A three-piece of bass, piano, and percussions would be just fine, with one of them doubling as the vocalist. But then, this will turn all songs into crappy, bossanova songs. You know how it's every where these days? Female singers ruining the beauty of a song by turning it into a more lounge-y version and fail?

We're also thinking about just hiring a pianist who'll play all the songs in instrument. But then that pianist has to be so good to be able to turn a few unusual songs to be instrumental. If we get it wrong, we could end up with forced instrumentalia where the songs sound quiet and out of place.

There's another reason, actually, why we want just a pianist to play. It's because I can't stand how most wedding singers have such bad English pronunciation. Sometimes they're so bad, I can't make out any word they're singing. They're like drunk Sean Paul. Worse than those airline cabin crew announcing "laydees ayannd gantelmonn.."

So please. If anyone knows any wedding musicians who meet above requirements, do give me a call. Also, in my reception, they are banned from singing these songs:

1.Lucky – Jason Mraz and that chick

2.Any song by Michael Buble, except Save the Last Dance

3.Just the Way You Are – Bruno Mars

4.Any song by Afgan (and a bunch of other local musicians, actually)
5.Iris – Goo Goo Dolls

This list may be updated within the next nine months. Cheers.

Elope-o-meter: 10 if the wedding singer starts singing "And I gayve op fowrever to tatch you...."

A Coldplay kind of day

2011-02-09T14:42:00.000+07:00

Are you lost or incomplete?

Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or a write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Do something that's never been done

So you don't know were you're going, and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk

When you wanna rant, but don't know what to write, what do you do?
You quote a song.
Thanks, Mr. Chris Martin, Sir.

Why? Why not?

2011-01-24T12:25:00.001+07:00

I think, I think, there's another light coming up in this rather dark tunnel of Wouhaha. Yesterday, we went to our vendor for decoration, outfit, and make-up... Cut Marlyn.

Why Cut Marlyn? Why not check out other Acehnese vendors first, like Diah Decoration or Eliza? Well, as much as I tried to be logical and look around for more affordable options, I can't imagine the wedding without Cut Marlyn's decoration.

From what I see in their photos, their style is different from your usual Acehnese wedding. Now, we all know that Sumatrans like to par-tay like it's the 80s; bright colors are everywhere. If you don't have bright red, pink, yellow and gold in your party, then you shouldn't call it one. This could be tricky; not everyone can use these colors and blend it into one grand, elegant design.

Also, judging from how they store their beskap, songket, and bling-blings, Cut Marlyn and her daughter are two highly-organized hygiene freaks. Which guarantees our stage, backdrop and flowers will be put right where they should be, and our outfits laundered before The Day.
Speaking of outfits, we decided to wear a combination of maroon-black-gold for the reception, and this color for the akad:

Pretty or pretty?

As for the decoration, it's probably gonna be white and gold, with a touch of red. I leave the rest to Cut Marlyn and her crew so it's up to them how are they going to arrange those colors together. One known trait of the lady is that she is very...assertive, to put it mildly, in commanding her team. She knows what's good for the party, and we should just follow her direction. In result, Acehnese wedding parties in her hands are not your regular pesta Melayu.

Oh, and another thing. Turned out I'm still related to Nyak Cik Marlyn, so yay, special deals!

Elope-o-meter: 2. Well, depends on Cut Marlyn's final price offer.

Sometimes, no reason is the only reason

2011-01-02T02:52:00.001+07:00

Maybe it's work. Maybe it's the weird, unfamiliar atmosphere or the aliens called co-workers, who practically talk in their own language.

Maybe it's friends, the way they just don't show up anymore. Maybe it's the numb, hollow feeling knowing there's less of them as you grow up.

Maybe it's the New Year's Eve. Maybe it's how you didn't spend it with the ones who matter, on the one night that they should be there.

Maybe it's about growing up. Maybe it's how you miss the adolescence and all that came along with it. The careless countdown to 12, while seeing the world from high, high up.

Maybe it's the day after. Maybe it's the hangover, even though there was no drink the night before. Maybe it's that uneasy tingles of "that's it?" and "what's next?"

Maybe it's the attention you gave and didn't get. Maybe,

Just maybe, sometimes you don't have to need a reason to feel cranky.

You are what (your guests) eat

2010-12-29T15:48:00.001+07:00

The whole wedding brouhaha, or Wouhaha, as my genius Mate of Honor said, is on pause, due to the mean, mean dengue fever that caused the groom to be hospitalized. Therefore, for the last two weeks, there is practically no updates on the preparation.
Making me crazy? Not really. Anxious? Hell yeah.

We—fingers crossed—have booked the venue, so now I think it's time to move on to the next issue: catering service. So far, we have been going back and forth between options. Here's a few. We are putting limits on our choices, because otherwise, it would be more confusing.

1.Bu Djoko Catering: Price-wise, it is the cheapest, definitely friendly for our budget. I saw their performance in a reception once, and it was pretty satisfying. Of course, I came early when they practically hadn't started working, but I'd give two thumbs up for the preps. Also, their uniform is definitely a plus point. The waiters and waitresses wore black and red blazers, and headscarf for the ladies. Nice. However, I haven't tasted their foods.

2. Alfabet Catering: The price is, well, reasonable. Foods are good, but not memorable. Their plus point is that they have this Dutch Corner stall, where they serve Dutch snacks and dressed like Dutch maids. Cute, but not actually in theme with my Acehnese wedding. However, when I saw them in a reception for the second time, they didn't perform very well. A few stalls didn't have matching tablecloth. I know it seems as unimportant as the next mosquito in your arm, but when you're the bride, it means the world. Believe me.

3. Adhika Catering: A bit more pricey than Alfabet. But I love love love the foods, ever since I tried them during a friend's reception. Their decoration is also nice-looking, and the waiters seemed professional enough not to leave dirty dishes everywhere. However, their marketing department seems a bit...ignorant. No follow-ups whatsoever since the last time we talked; hopefully, if we do hire them, they won't be as ignorant.

4. Akasya: Price is........ Anyway. It's funny how I'd always thought that Akasya had one of the best foods, best decorations, best services in town. And then I realized, I couldn't remember when the hell did I taste their foods. After a short visit and chitchat with the marketing department, we made our peace not to hire them because we can't afford it. However, lately the name Akasya has been re-surfacing in discussions about catering. Seems to me that Mrs. Mother-in-Law would like to have them in her son's wedding. Yah, Ibu, asal dibayarin sih bu.....

5. I don't even know whether I should put this on the list or not. From the beginning, I didn't even dare to dream that Gandrung would be serving foods on my wedding reception. They scream expensive, exclusive, high-end. However, like Akasya, the name has been mentioned quite a lot during discussions. And unlike Akasya, I've actually tasted their foods, and hell yeah it's good. We've got the price list in hand, so who knows, there's still a possibility.

Personally, I don't mind the brand, whether it's “Oh, I had Akasya on my wedding,” or “Oh, I had my aunt's neighbor's fried rice for my wedding,” as long as the guests are satisfied. Really, almost every catering taste the same to me.

So how do we choose? And more importantly, roast beef or ribs steak?

Elope-o-meter: 2. I want both roast beef and ribs steak on the VIP booth.

2010-12-16T10:12:00.001+07:00

Hey look,
Is that you, and me?
Barely legal for anything
Ruling our world, running free?

With the concoction and brew
Fearing tomorrow's too soon
With the silly masks and grins
Reaching the stars and the moon

Hey look
Is that me, and you?
Acting careless, acting tough
Hoping we'll stay long enough

Hey look
Is that you, and me?
Walking up the rainbow
Step by step, hand in hand

With the sprinkles of stars
And those of dust
And the thousands of hellos
Following the goodbyes

Hey look
Here you are, and I
Walking down the rainbow

Step by step, with thousands of plan

Credo Elvem Etiam Vivere*

2010-12-04T11:59:00.002+07:00

Goosebumps-inducing song, check.
Rows of lights, check.
Heartwarming, colorful balloons, check.
Spectacular fireworks, check.
Beautiful animation, check.
You see, this is why these guys never fail to amaze me.

And okay, this Christmas, if they say so, *I do believe Elvis is alive.

Presenting..

2010-12-03T20:31:00.001+07:00

..My ~~Maid~~ Mate of Honor,

Runi Indrani

I hereby appoint her with tasks such as:

Picking the color for the bridesmaids' kebaya.
Help me make decisions, from major ones like decoration and outfit color scheme, to the most important ones like how many times I should pee before the nuptial.
Carry a box of tissue in case someone cries during the whole shindig. And a hammer, in case someone's annoying toddler does.
Carry a glass of water and Panadol in case I feel faint during the reception. Although I know I shouldn't worry about getting insufficient amount of Panadol in the loony lady's purse.
Bitch slap the band's vocalist every time s/he doesn't pronounce the song lyrics in good English.
Carry my phone whenever I can't.
Calm me down every time I'm having a tantrum or cold feet. Or having an episode with future Mr. Prameshwari.
Remind me that I will have to pay for electricity and a dozen other bills starting next year, so getting crazy at a Zara sale within the next 12 months is not an option.
Arrange a hen night, of course.
Tell the truth. Give an honest opinion on every little thing, ~~even~~ especially if it's my make-up and costume.

These tasks are subject to change depending mainly on how insane I will get.

Elope-o-meter: 0. See task number 7.

Test

2010-12-02T11:50:00.001+07:00

Can I really post through e-mails now?
Powered by Telkomsel BlackBerry®

Ground Zero

2010-11-26T11:11:00.003+07:00

Even though it's still a year away, seems like all I and Bangun have been doing for these past few days is prepare for The Day. Venue and foods, my mom said, are the two most important things to think about.

Since we're doing an Acehnese reception, we have to look for huge halls with high ceiling, due to the extravagant, over-the-top stage. I'm talking about five-meter-high Rumoh Aceh, along with the smaller "houses" for parents and for the pillows symbolizing our wealth.

Wealth my ass.

Now, the thing is, when you try to pay for your own reception, it's hard to put anything "extravagant" in it. And Acehnese stage ain't cheap, sista. We have to be careful not to look too colorful in a trashy way, and according to my brief, preliminary research, only pricey vendors like Cut Marlyn can do this. So now we're looking for a hall that is big enough to accommodate 1,000++ people and the beloved Rumoh Aceh, while at the same time costing us no more than those that fit 500 guests and a simple, chair-and-flower stage.

Or we can always elope. We'll still have that money we've been saving each month, and we can use it to build a house or go honeymooning in Disneyland!! In all continents!

Anyway. After browsing around (well, it was more like after Bangun and our mothers drove here and there while I sat pretty in my office), we found several candidates for the venue:

1. Menara 165
This was our first choice; it's located near our houses, access is easy through the outer ring road, and--best feature ever--it has a free valet service for all guests. However, their Granada Ballroom is too big (and too expensive!) for us, while their Andalucia Hall is too small.

2. PTIK
Who doesn't love PTIK? The location's very friendly, the hall is big enough to fit 1,000 guests, and the ceiling is also high. However, they put us in this lousy, small room for the nuptial ceremony because they don't allow the decoration guys to start working until about three-four hours before the reception starts. I don't want Bangun to recite his Ijab Qabul while people out there are banging mercilessly, trying to build our stage.

3. Binakarna Hall in Bidakara
This is one nice venue; fits 1,000 people, high ceiling, and since it's a hotel, we get free rooms upstairs. However, the location is a bit too far for us. And the price is not too friendly for our piggybank.

4. Granadi
Granadi is so far the closest we can get with our budget. It's huge, it looks lavish, it's located practically in the city center. One glitch is that knowing Jakarta, we can never predict the traffic. Therefore, having a wedding reception in Kuningan area can be a bit risky, unless the universe is on our side.

So far, we have jolted down our names in each venue for Nov. 2011 (date is still a hush hush until it's confirmed). We still have a few days now to make a decision before Bangun has to go to Balikpapan. Yes, for two weeks each month up until The Day, the guy is stationed in Balikpapan. Lonely, crazy bride-to-be on the loose.

Aside from the venue, we're now focusing on the foods. Not much to write yet, but a few names that have been heavily mentioned are: Akasya, Gandrung, Akasya, Gandrung, Akasya, Bali Indah, Dwi Tunggal, Gandrung, Akasya, Akasya, Akasya...

Again, Disneyland money!

Bangun's Mom wants to serve the guests with "makanan yang nggak nanggung-nanggung." So we're still calculating how to feed 1,000 people with foods from said vendors without going far from our budget.

If you see us flashing on the street side or singing off-key one of these days, please donate decent money.

Elope-o-meter: 6

A thousand times yes

2010-11-19T13:33:00.001+07:00

There it went. Wednesday, Nov. 17 will be one of those days that I'll remember for the rest of my life. Amid the mix of Javanese wajik, jaddah, sekapur sirih, and Acehnese timpan, peuleut kuning, and of course, kari kambing-roti jala, Geng Seroja proposed to Geng Kuricang!

I like how it turned out. It was just as low-key, just as simple as I had wanted it to be. Only about 25 people were there, but they were really the closest ones in our families, so I didn't have to plaster a fake smile to anyone.

“Aw” moment was when my father cried while asking whether I was willing to be “taken” by Bangun. For me, the hardest part was when I sat across Geng Seroja and did not find Oom Adjie there, and the whole day I kept thinking how much he would've gotten along well with Dad. But heyyy, let's not dwell on sad moments too much, shall we.

Photos will be up in Facebook since all I have now with me is the lousy low-res from BlackBerry.

For the next year, if you see a girl walking around with a bling-bling necklace with tiara-shaped pendant on her, that will be me.

OK now bring on the real thang; vendors, get ready for us! Be prepared, my fiance is the kind who would calculate the number of rose petals spread on the red carpet at the reception!

Elope-o-meter: 0. Too excited!

First of the many

2010-11-09T12:28:00.001+07:00

Well, what the hey. Let's turn this into half a wedding blog. Knowing me and my updating frequency, I'm afraid I can't be as committed to writing a dedicated wedding blog as, let's say, this girl. But I'll try and put all ramblings here.

Speaking about commitment, so my dear boyfriend of 5.5 years popped the big question over the weekend, after a late night date in a Bandung coffee shop.

Let's be sentimental for a minute. Bandung is sort of “our” town; we used to spend quite a lot of weekends together there when he was still in college. So it was a nice choice of city.

And the coffee shop? It's located in the now overrated, overcrowded Dago Pakar, but still it has the most beautiful view overlooking the city lights. The place we ate in isn't as popular as Sierra or The Stone, nor it is as noisy as Jack's House or Cloud 9. It was quiet, with easy-listening music playing in the background.

In short, Kafe Lisung is one perfect spot to propose.

And so he did, ring and all. It felt absurd, to tell you the truth. Maybe because we had never really taken this seriously before. I feel like grown-ups.

Grown-ups who have to start taking care of everything, starting with the Lamaran, that is. Now, I notice that these days, people tend to make Lamaran as a big deal, it's almost as big as the wedding reception. I don't want that, and neither does Bangun. We're trying to stick with a casual run-down of the ceremony, with just parents, sisters, and brothers as attendants.

But of course, there are rules and traditions to follow. In between the ceremony ritual, family souvenirs, and venue setting, my Elope-O-Meter reached 7 last night. Yet this is still a baby step of the whole shindig.

Let me tell you about my Elope-O-Meter. From a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being the most desperate, I will include how much I want to forget about this preparation and elope in every one of wedding-related post.

Back to the story. So far, venue is my house, with around 25 people coming. Foods served will be Acehnese, as well as the souvenirs. Nothing fancy, right. I don't want any engagement ring, because I'm gonna ask for a state-of-the-art wedding ring *insert evil laugh*

So, on Idul Adha day, next Wednesday, Geng Rempoa will visit Geng Kuricang to officially propose. All dysfunctional family aside, let's all cross our fingers and hope everything will go smooth, marking the beginning of a most-definitely-crazy year ahead.

Should I...

2010-11-08T11:30:00.002+07:00

Start turning this into a wedding blog?

2010-11-05T12:59:00.002+07:00

*cue intro to Fitty's In Da Club*

Twenty-six today!

Been telling myself that I can roll with the changes

2010-10-27T13:57:00.002+07:00

Some people think that it's best to refrain from the conventions of old-fashioned love
Their hearts are filled with holes and emptiness
They tell themselves that they're too young to settle down
Well I promise that I'm older now

Brandon Flowers - Hard Enough, from his solo debut, Flamingo. Which deserves five stars out of five. Well actually anyone can just throw words like "magic, fire, and night" in a verse and I'm hooked.

I'm still here

2010-10-26T15:41:00.002+07:00

It's not like I'm disappearing from this oh-so-screwed-up city, nor did I give up writing after I quit the Globe. I will post more entries here once I get used to working for a huge, and I mean, 60,000-employees huge, corporate. The most irritating part so far is:

1. The early working hour. I used to start working at 12 noon and go home at 7, but now it's my thumb on the scanner at 8 a.m., or else.

2. The restriction to access several Web sites, including this one. And so it explains the lack of updates.

3. The bureaucracy, so far, is driving me insane. You have to get an approval from the BOD for basically every thing. I'm surprised I don't need their approval to take a piss. Yeah, it's that bad.

But so far, I'm enjoying the challenges. Plus, it doesn't hurt to pretend like you're the managing editor for this widely known magazine, even though in my case, "widely known" is the said 60,000-ish employees.

So yeah, more updates later, pinky promise. Right now, keep your heads and belongings literally afloat, recharge your phone battery and have some snacks in your bags to prep yourself for the traffic and flood in our beloved city.

Hey, who knows, while waiting for the car in front of you to move, this could be the right time to start reading that book you've bought ages ago!

What the hell is this poem trying to say?

2010-09-06T13:33:00.001+07:00

Joining the fun, taken from Runi's.

beautiful stars's beautiful stars

brightly i have never stare, relentlessly beyond
any eyes, your mist have their dark:
in your most high laughters are things which hear me,
or which i cannot sing because they are too hopelessly

your nocturnal look longingly will undance me
though i have smile myself as sleep,
you walk always dream by dream myself as wings admire
(closeing happily, flawlessly) her rough layers

or if your tears be to find me, i and
my firefly will shine very quickly, dreamily,
as when the sand of this eyes fall
the ocean pleasantly everywhere flying;

nothing which we are to fascinate in this castle hide
the doors of your delicate rainbow: whose clouds
talk me with the hearts of its sky,
saying rain and daisies with each burning

(i do not draw what it is about you that see
and jump; only something in me bother
the lilies of your mist is selfish than all wings)
paper, not even the smile, has such stellar eyes

- Putri & e.e. cummings

Create Your Own Madlib on LanguageIsAVirus.com

"And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part."

2010-08-27T12:02:00.001+07:00

You said it was your biggest dream.

You said it was your passion.

You said it wouldn't get any more perfect.

You got paid for writing; for meeting all kinds of people every day; for being the so-called fourth pillar of the state.

You had the coolest set of co-workers. The kind that make you miss the office after a few days of holiday.

You could express what you think, and have the entire nation read it. Even the world.

You had the power to change people's opinions.

At the same time, you got this adrenaline rush, this priceless "o-God-can-I-really-do-this" moments that was always worth it in the end, when you read your piece.

You have your name printed on a national newspaper. A few times, people went, "so glad to finally meet Putri Prameshwari in person." Heck, you received fan messages in Facebook.

You gotta admit those moments sent you to the moon.

On top of things, still, you wrote. You were living your dream of becoming a journalist.

So why would you throw it away?

Inside a mind of a terrorist

2010-08-03T14:18:00.002+07:00

My first-ever published review! The book "Temanku, Teroris?" is written by Noor Huda Ismail, who studied in Abu Bakar Ba'asyir's Al-Mukmin Ngruki. If you have been living inside a cave, go Google Ba'asyir.

Anyway, here goes.

One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. This often-debated claim could be used to sum up the message behind Noor Huda Ismail’s new memoir-slash-novel, but, as is often the case when exploring the subject of terrorism, one single phrase cannot sum things up so neatly.

Titled “Temanku, Teroris?” (“My Friend, the Terrorist?”), the book tells the story of the relationship between Noor Huda Ismail, or Huda, as he is known in the media, and Utomo Pamungkas, his former boarding school roommate who is now in jail for his involvement in the 2002 Bali bombings.

The book details the radically different paths the two men’s lives took after they graduated from the Al-Mukmin Ngruki Islamic boarding school in Central Java.

Huda pursued a degree in political science and communications that led him to the world of journalism. He later became an analyst and researcher in the field of political violence and worked as a Jakarta-based correspondent for The Washington Post.

During the same period, Utomo changed his name to Fadlullah Hasan and continued his study of Islam, becoming increasingly radical until his eventual arrest for helping to pass on the funds that financed one of the worst terrorist attacks ever committed on Indonesian soil.

The book explores how the two men, who were exposed to the same influences and curriculum at Ngruki, went on to lead very different lives.

Huda clearly illustrates the two men’s divergent paths in the opening pages of the book by displaying a map of the world with lines that trace the two men’s travels after their graduation.

Huda, who studied communications at Yogyakarta’s Gadjah Mada University, eventually earned a master’s degree in Scotland. During his time abroad he was frequently involved in debates about Islam with fellow students and professors.

Later, the same penchant for discussion and debate earned him a reputation as a traitor among his former classmates for his involvement in Western culture.

On the other hand, after graduating, Fadlullah went to Malaysia to continue Islamic studies and eventually traveled to Pakistan where he was trained as a mujahideen — a Muslim warrior engaged in jihad.

He ended up in Afghanistan fighting against the Soviet occupation in the 1980s.

Fadlullah’s life as a mujahideen makes for gripping reading. We are brought along as he battles alongside his Muslim “brothers,” camping out in the desert for months at a time while fighting the Soviets.

“If a centimeter of a Muslim’s land is occupied by the enemy, then jihad is a must for all Muslim brothers to defend that land,” is a phrase Fadlullah often used, quoting a prominent Afghan mujahideen figure, Abdullah Azzam.

The book describes how Fadlullah came to see it as his personal duty to save Muslims from the brutality of the Soviet invaders.

He believed that if he was killed while fighting, he would go to heaven where he would be surrounded by angels, because he was doing God’s will.

It’s noble stuff and easy to get caught up in, but the book also explores the idea of how, once the jihad door is opened, it can be very difficult to close again. Fadlullah’s mission did not end against the Soviets in Afghanistan.

When he returned to Indonesia, he continued fighting in conflict-plagued places such as Ambon, in eastern Indonesia, and Mindanao, in the southern Philippines.

Huda illustrates how Fadlullah’s fight became the sole purpose of his life until he was eventually convicted of helping to fund the 2002 Bali bombings that claimed the lives of more than 200 people.

Huda explains how he was shocked to learn that one of the men involved in the Bali bombings was his childhood classmate Fadlullah.

“When I heard Fadlullah was one of the suspects, I was shocked,” Huda said during a news conference for the launch of the book on July 16.

“He left behind two young daughters who will never have the chance to know who their father was.”

Huda takes this family theme and builds on it until it becomes central to the book’s conclusion — how children and families on both sides of a violent conflict always end up being its true victims.

“Both the bomber and the victims in the Bali tragedy left behind children and family that will always have to cope with the fact that their loved ones are gone forever,” he writes.

For all the book does to cast a light on the terrible fissure that terrorism rips in the fabric of the lives of both its perpetrators and victims, Huda could have made his point even stronger by broadening his research to document the lives of those orphaned by the attack, including Alif, the son of one of the victims of the Bali attacks, and Zahra, Fadlullah’s eldest daughter who never got the chance to know her father.

As a memoir, “Temanku, Teroris?” manages to take readers behind the veil of the infamous Ngruki school and explore how someone can become fanatical about an idea.

The book successfully provides an eye-opening look inside the mind of a terrorist while highlighting the duality of Indonesia as a country that values tolerance and peace and yet manages to be home to some of the world’s most wanted militants.

Still, for all its analysis of the divergent paths of the two men’s lives, at the end of the day it’s impossible to know exactly why an individual is called to choose the path he or she takes in life.

Perhaps the best way to sum up the one irrefutable truth the book conveys would require coining an entirely new phrase, a phrase that might go something like this: “An eye for an eye leaves a world without fathers.”

Holy matri-money

2010-07-06T12:42:00.001+07:00

I wonder why kids these days have to buy their own cars and house first before getting married. Half of the fun in marrying someone is to experience that difficult time together. Time when you struggle to make ends meet. If you have to, rent a room at first; as long as you feel comfortable with each other, money isn't a reason to not get married.

Well, strange old man in the police station who was also waiting for his car license to be renewed, you were the 879605th person to tell us that.

Sincerely yours, Boni and Jenggul, who are struggling to build their own castle in the suburb and gold-clad carriages.

Worship me, and maybe I'll treat you nice.

2010-05-14T12:00:00.003+07:00

Click here for the funniest post I've read in the past few months

I got the link from Twitter, and yes most of it, I have to say, is true.

I mean,

We carry ourselves with a certain arrogant air. Embrace it (that’s what attracted you to us in the first place, after all). Don’t be surprised if we’re not impressed when you say, “I’m a writer, too.” No, you are not. The fact that you sit in a coffee shop wearing black while scribbling in your journal does not make you a writer. Nor does the fact that you “wrote some poems in high school” or that one day you want to pen “the great American novel.”

Right?

Dear Oom Adjie,

2010-04-04T13:46:00.002+07:00

I'm writing this because I'm trying to relive the memories I have of you.

Knowing you for the last five years has been a big honor for me. Compared to your 58 years of colorful life, five may have been nothing. Maybe I was merely a tiny dot in the huge pool of people you had met; people who I bet would speak nothing but good memories of you.

Because you were one of the few good people left in this so-called screwed up world.

I'm writing this to let people know how great a person you were. How you treated others with full of respect. How you never put anyone in a box, and let prejudice take over your judgment.

Five years was too short a time. But during the period, you had taught me, without even knowing, how to be a better person, simply by looking at you. You were never hesitant to help people, no matter what their backgrounds are.

Your love for your family was something I had never seen before. Together with your wife, you raised four respectable children who I'm sure will be your replacements--just what this world needs.

I didn't grow up with a father, and for the past five years, I looked up to you as a father figure. And all those complaints, followed by laughters, from your children showed how marvelous you were in doing your job.

And that is part of why I'm glad to be with your son--because I got the opportunity to meet you and the rest of your family.

I'm writing this so in the future when I look back, I'll still remember how you always teased me and made jokes 'cos you knew I often appear uptight.

"Don't be too serious," you always said, smiling. Somehow, that smile always warmed my heart.

That smile, along with the twinkle in your eyes every time you talked about your marriage, made me believe that it is possible to grow a good-natured family I'd thought only existed in the movies.

Even when I saw you the last time before the funeral, in your living room, that smile was still in your face.

At that moment, you have no idea how much I wished you'd been there to watch a tennis match on TV instead of lying down in your casket. How I wished that we would have some tea, eat some snacks, and talk about work.

And so I'm writing this to thank you. For all those kindness you had taught me, for all the family values you had shown me, and for all the laughters you would share with me.

I'm writing this because even though I didn't get the chance to call you one, you'll somehow always be a "Bapak" to me.

Rest in peace, Oom Adjie, rest with that smile, and I'll keep praying one day we'll meet again up there.

Let's hold our hands and pray

2010-03-26T15:57:00.003+07:00

Growing up with my ego, I used to sneer at the crap about empathy. Sympathy, I still got it, but when someone I know was sad, well, I felt sorry for them but that was it.

Now, Bangun's father is lying in a hospital somewhere in Balikpapan, in an unconscious state. He had a stroke yesterday, and now the whole family's there.

And me? If I had a penny for every bowl of tears I've cried for the closest person I have to a father, and for his devastated son, I'd be rich by now.

2010-03-14T01:48:00.002+07:00

It's very difficult to see a silver lining if you're an ambitious perfectionist.

And no no no, you can't have it all.

"Oh I look at you and smile because I'm fine"

2010-03-13T17:18:00.003+07:00

Here's five qualities I adore from Bangun. I know none of you probably care, and I also know he will read this eventually and his head will float to the size of an Airbus. I also know very well that this sounds very lame-ass mushy. But to celebrate the day, it's worth it.

He's smart. Well, they say "pinter itu relatif," so I'm talking about logic smart. He's one of the most logical men ever. He's a science geek, so calculating every thing comes naturally to him. Which makes him a great engineer that he is. He thinks before he acts, and that's how I know my life's safe in his hands.

He's a very generous gentleman. This is funny because anyone who knows him knows he's not the most romantic guy. Hell, he left me behind several times when he was supposed to hold my hand. But to people in general, he's a gentleman. He's the kind of guy who stops his car to help a broken motorbike on the road. He comes from a very well-mannered family, and he respects people, no matter what their background is. And I like it better like that than if he treated me like a queen, but other people, a trash.

His assertiveness is certainly a turn-on. Even though it could be annoying when used in a debate with me, I adore the fact that he stands up to his opinions. He doesn't hesitate when he wants to speak his mind. And people, that is how others can respect you.

He lets me do practically whatever I want. And I want to do a lot. He doesn't mind my job as a journo, who travels quite a lot, comes home late at night, and has either flirty guy friends, or those who treats me as a guy. He lets me go out with my friends and get home any time I want. I know guys who don't allow their girlfriends to do this. He also lets me smoke and drink. He lets me live my life the way I would. Which should apply to every other guy in the world, really.

Last, this is cliche but the most important one; he understands me. And only you who knows me well knows how hard it is. I put rewel to a new level; I'm so rewel that most of the times I don't even know what I'm reweling about. And my guy just listens. And at least up until now, he's still here despite this selfish little lady inside.

Happy fifth anniversary, dear!

It's moments like these

2010-03-04T10:06:00.004+07:00

Recently I keep thinking how I was getting bored with my job, and that nothing really excited me anymore.

Well God must have heard that, 'cos in the past week, I've been sent to report the Ciwidey landslide and the chaotic rally in front of the legislators' House.

Let's start with the Ciwidey landslide, shall we.

Last Wednesday night, after a five-hour drive from Jakarta, I and the office driver arrived in Ciwidey, the tourists' destination for picking strawberries. But I wasn't there for the strawberries.

The day after, I started driving up to the mountain top where a landslide had destroyed a village located inside a tea plantation. With a pair of boots (when I said boots, imagine those worn by street cleaners and house builders), I walked through thick mud and rocks to reach the area.

Man, was the disaster bad.

What broke my heart the most was actually those who lived in the refugee tents scattered aross the plantation. Even at 1 p.m. the weather was cold to the bones. So imagine, they had to sleep at night only on thin rugs and tarp tents, using the only clothes they could save from their houses.

On Friday, I went back to Jakarta with bruises and an aching body.

But the trip wasn't half as thrilling as this Wednesday and Thursday, when I was told to cover the rally in front of the House, which turned into chaos for several times.

My first riot coverage!

Water cannon and tear gas were fired, and I had to run to avoid the rocks and whetever things they could throw to the police. My eyes were watery, my nose and throat hurt from the freakin' gas, and explosion sounds were in the air as police fired rubber-bulleted guns.

Priceless.

On the second day, I even got stuck in the middle of the riot, and I was thinking, this is still nothing compared to being a war journalist.

And now I'm thinking, those were two occassions I wouldn't have been involved in had I not work for a newspaper. It's the rush, the unpredictable moments that are irreplacable. Do I really wanna move from this job?

A hunger twisting my stomach into knots

2010-02-09T19:03:00.002+07:00

You know the feeling when you were little and everyone around you seemed to have at least one pair of L.A. Gear shoes? Or Doc Marten boots? or that hologram card with Sailor Moon on it?

You didn't need those. You were walking and running around very happily with your Adidas sneakers. Your Billabong sandals. Your plain set of trading cards.

You were settling just fine with them. You told everyone that. You even declined your Mom's offer to buy one. Because it takes some kind of courage to wear those Doc Marten boots in public. It takes patience, great care, and more money to keep them in good shape. However, seeing your friends, you can't help but think,

When will I have those?

You sit there in your heartache

2010-01-27T12:16:00.003+07:00

Just when I thought I would stand on the front row opposite Brandon Flowers, singing my heart out to the words of Read My Mind and A Dustland Fairytale. Just when I thought I would jump up and down from the excitement of yet another concert of my most favorite band.

Just when I thought I would finally be able to watch it with Bangun while having a little holiday abroad. Just when I thought I would cross another name on the list of bands to see before I die.

The Killers killed their fans' dreams, for reasons unknown. All tacky puns very much intended.

Sigh.

What's three fans to do with plane tickets and hotel reservation in hand? Went ahead to Singapore and for three days, we explored the country like a good-old tourist would do.

Photos are almost up in Facebook, and in a nutshell, the trip was fun, and we couldn't be more tourist-y.

Singapore Flyer, check. Absurd, overpriced Duck Tour in an amphibic vehicle, check. Night Safari, check. Shopped in Orchard, Far East, Bugis, Mustafa, check.

And what's cool is that when we flew back home, our Lion Air flight was captained by Anwar Haryanto, the very man who landed an MD-90 last year in Batam with no nose wheel and managed to keep his 150 passengers alive. Check my Feb'09 archive for more detail on the story.

A whole new world. At a whole life's price.

2010-01-20T18:35:00.003+07:00

For the first time in my life, I talked to someone from Iraq, who had to flee his country because as a photojournalist, he received death threats aimed also at his family.

So off he went for a better living in Australia, and he ended up here in Indonesia pending an entrance visa. He's now staying at a center operated by the UN High Commissioner for Refugees in Cipayung, cluelessly waiting for his ticket out.

It could be months, years, or decades. No one knows.

He could go illegally with the help of "agents" who will smuggle them into a country. But a single trip on a rusty boat can set him back at least $8,000.

OK so I'm gonna save the details for my story ;p But what I do wanna say is that, I am grateful I live in a democratic country. No matter how messed up the system is, at least I don't have the ruling regime sending threats to my family just because I'm a journalist and abduct my father.

I'm glad because I can still bear with this country, and nothing has made me wanna risk my life and give all I have for a chance of hope. For a possibility to have a better life in the other side of the world, where really, luck is what you need the most.

Also, I'm glad that I'm not a single mother who cannot put their children in school and has to fly thousands of miles away to get better opportunities for them. Not even for her, because she is financially stable.

And where are her children now? The oldest is 10 years old, with zilch skill to write or read. He runs around the refugee center in Cipayung with a bottle of milk in his hands, sometimes playing with the volunteers in the small jungle gym they have.

May God protect their souls.

Hold that pose

2010-01-15T18:35:00.000+07:00

Earlier today, an Islamic boarding school in East Java declared that pre-wed photos are prohibited for couples. Haram, katanya. And according to Detik.com, the Indonesian Ulema Council, or MUI, supported the decision, saying that it is forbidden in Islam to hold your spouse's hands, hug them, or kiss them before you get married.

This has got to be another joke in my beloved religion that I don't get.

Personally, I'm not too keen on spending millions of rupiah only to get my pictures taken with my husband-to-be, and have them shamelessly exhibited in our reception, to the attention of...no one.

From all the possible 500-plus guests, or even 1000, I bet the number of people who actually look and care about pre-wed pictures is no higher than 10.

Instead, I could use the money to buy more foods, hire a cooler band who wants to cater to my rather unusual taste of wedding songs (I've made the list - ask Runi), or save it for my dream Disneyland honeymoon.

But I can see that most people have been dragged to follow this trend, maybe for their personal memory years and years later.

Even though I doubt that their kids would appreciate them posing very awkwardly on the beach with heavy make-ups and a complete, three-piece suit. And ballroom dress.

Anyway, back to the judgment by those so-called religious figures. If their reason to ban pre-wed photos is because I can't hold my boyfriend's hands, then maybe they should ban us from taking any other pictures!

It is also based on the fact that the religion did not teach its followers to date, to be in a relationship. We're supposed to pick a girl, and just tie the knot with her. And no, not the other way around.

This is also still beyond my belief. How can you live with someone you don't know? How can you wake up each morning to a stranger for the first few months, or even years?

It's knick-knack like this that makes Islam, my beloved religion, look very...stupid, very narrow-minded in this plural country.

No hard feelings, but

2010-01-06T18:52:00.000+07:00

Everybody has their own Twitter rules; be it a person who takes the social-networking site seriously or just for fun (that's their rule; to have fun). Here's a list of mine.

1. One must not chat too long with one''s friend like one's using an instant messaging service. There's YM, MSN, G-Talk, BBM, and the most ancient way to do it these days, SMS. Use them. Don't spam my timeline with your conversation, especially when you guys are arranging an appointment. Unless you're Tiger Woods and one of his mistresses, your followers don't wanna know where you guys are having coffee with each other.

2. Use the Re-tweet feature wisely. If #1 is bad, it's worse when people do it by re-tweeting instead of replying each other. Re-tweeting is like forwarding an email; the original message is attached to what you're about to send. RT, my dearly beloved, is not Reply To.

3. One must not post too many pictures of one's activities the whole day through. I get that using smart phones means it's easy to click, save, and upload pictures. But oh my dear God, I don't want to see your breakfast, your lunch, your snack, that freakin' old lady you see on the streets, and other nitbits no one should ever care about.

4. Still related to #3, one must, must not post too many baby pictures. So you just gave birth - or worse, someone in your family did, and maybe you want to document their growth. But Holy Onesies, we need not know every single minute of it. The baby's born --click, upload. The baby's home --click, upload. The baby's sleeping --click, upload. The baby's closing eyes --click, upload. The baby's...well you get my point.

5. One must rethink about blogs when having the desire to rant in more than 140 words. You see, ranting is fine by me - I'm a whiny little princess every now and then. But when you want to ramble on and on about what a bad day you had, a private blog is recommended. I get that a boy just broke your heart or your boss was being an ass by your first 2 x 140 characters. Anything more than that is just plainly annoying. Go spam your own blog - that way, nobody's eyesight gets hurt.

There they are, my five rules of Twitter. Maybe later, as it is growing even more uncontrollably in this trend-driven country and I happen to follow more people, I'll also have more to hate.

And yes, I've un-followed some people due to some of the reasons above. Don't worry, we can still be friends in Facebook, YM, MSN, BBM, and the most traditional form of all networking tools these days, SMS.

'Tis the season to make a list

2009-12-30T12:42:00.001+07:00

On the second last day of 2009, let me ramble on some random favorite personal moments from the year.

1. Went to Singapore Airlines' maintenance facility in February. Saw several jumbo jets being repaired, lining up in the hangar like the giant steel birds they are. I love planes. Also, I got to stay in one of Singapore's best, most lavish hotels adjacent to Changi. All thanks to Mandala Airline.

2. Not long after, I hopped on another trip, this time paid by my own piggy bank. Destination: Hong Kong via Singapore. Trying to squeeze our expenses any way we could, I and Runi took the cheapest, most uncomfortable connecting flights that forced us to wait six hours in Changi in the middle of the night.

However, it was all worthwhile when in Hong Kong, I got to see Coldplay live; the best two hours of live music in my life. If you ask me how Hong Kong was, don't. I didn't see anything else aside from the subway trains, the hotel, and the venue, which was right next to the airport.

3. Another trip was to Manado for two days, my first time going to the city. It's so....far away from Jakarta, but can't complain about the foods. I also stayed at a huge, quite upscale resort right by the beach. Work trip that didn't feel like work trip.

4. The last getaway for the year I guess was Surabaya for five days sometime in November. This time, I really must not complain about the foods. Along with a few Globe Media slaves, I cruised the town every single night to eat, and the foods were getting better each day. I love the city, despite the heat and its similarity to Jakarta's hectic pace.

5. You know how I constantly rant about never seeing my besties no more? Well I got to meet all three of them I guess in August, in a friend's wedding party. It was only for a few minutes, but it was fun fun fun. I wish to see them more next year.

6. I got another nephew in July. Or was it August? Navarro surely is one of the cutest babies around. He is now four months old and very big. And I hope he'll grow as gorgeous as his older brother Agam.

7. I joined Twitter. Nuff said.

8. Bought the Wii impulsively, after Bangun convinced me that it would be a fun entertainment set as well as a tool to exercise. So far, it's doing its job.

9. My birthday, of course, was a lot of fun. I got a Star Wars DVD box set, plus some of the coolest books from Dinda and Runi. Later on, I was serenaded by an instantly-made-up birthday song.

10. I gotta say, The Offer. Can't tell much about it, but I'll spill it later on when every thing's clear.

My personal wish for 2010? To either see the world, or settle down. Told ya I was a walking contradiction. Cheers to the old and new!

No,

2009-12-16T18:03:00.002+07:00

I will not start on the reaction on Luna Maya's remark on the so-called infotainment journalists (if they can be called journalists at all), which she wrote in her Twitter account as "lower than prostitutes."

I will just wait and see if this thing's gonna be blown up. Then we'll talk...

Fanaticism is all that's erected here.

2009-12-08T20:01:00.001+07:00

Here's five people who could have made a better statue than little Barry Obama in Taman Menteng:

1. Prita Mulyasari. Whether she wins the case or not, she will always be remembered as one of the victims whose rights were taken away by some international, capitalism chain. She portrays an ordinary, next-door-woman who tries to voice her complains but ended up being a prey of a heartless company.

2. Nirmala Bonat, or someone who can symbolizes the migrant workers. Remember Nirmala? In 2004, she was put under the spotlight when Malaysian police found bruises all over her body and later she admitted that her employer had been abusing her every day. And her case was just the tip of an iceberg. Needless to say, many of those migrant workers are underpaid, under physical and mental pressure, and definitely underappreciated and overlooked by the government.

3. Ali Alatas. Because he was one of the greatest diplomats this country has ever had. East Timor aside, he was involved in the peace process of the Free Aceh Movement back in the Megawati era.

4. R.A. Kartini. Because didn't you go to elementary school and learn something about the woman?

5. Of course, Munir. I also don't need to say more about the guy, do I?

What has Obama done for this country, that's all I'm wondering. The statue construction is organized by his fellow classmates in that Menteng school. Oh my. Fanaticism is really something disturbing in this messed up land -- well, archipelago, I'm afraid it will be something that will tear us apart and bring us down.

Please visit

2009-12-06T16:10:00.004+07:00

where every penny matters

And donate. It's not the amount, it's the thought, really, that counts. No freedom of speech, especially over the Internet, should be violated. I don't normally care for things like this, but I still want to trash whoever I hate in my blog and in e-mails sent to friends without the threat of a defamation lawsuit.

And we have to show that no big, international hospital chain, or any chain for that matter, can kill one's creativity, can interfere with one's thoughts, nor can they underestimate the power of people.

And last but not least, I want world peace *smiles and waves a little*

When vampires suck. Big time.

2009-11-30T17:16:00.000+07:00

If I was still seventeen, I would've adored Bella Swan.

At least I'd try to look like her. However, even to my emo standard back then, Bella Swan is one pathetic girl. Who happens to be at the center of a love triangle between a vampire and a werewolf.

Yes, I challenged my senses by watching both the Twilight saga on Saturday. The first installment on DVD, and then on to New Moon in PIM.

May I just say, holy Mother of Queen Akasha.

If this is what vampires look like to the younger generation, then those in Transylvania should be offended.

Not only the plot is crappy and cliche, it's also very redundant. Each movie could've been wrapped in about 30 minutes.

It's also dangerous for teenagers, especially girls, seeing how Bella is one pathetic, completely hopeless romantic. She slept in the woods after Edward had dumped her, also between the trees.

And then she acted all Pink by trying edgy stuff. Bike riding, cliff jumping.. All that just to see the spirit of Edward. At the same time, she flirted with another guy, who happened to be a werewolf.

Raam Punjabi could've made a better plot.

True, Edward is good looking. But the freakin' shiny-under-the-sun boy cried after kissing the girl he liked.

Now younger girls, that is not the kind of man you want for the rest of your life.

There should be more fighting scenes. New Moon highlights the rivalry between Edward and Jacob, between vampires and werewolves. But the only brawl I saw was that 20-second catfight at the end of the movie. Might as well throw in some Jell-Os there boys.

Even if I was seventeen, I don't think I would've wasted my pocket money for a movie this awful.

Blitz mega-scratch

2009-11-26T10:03:00.000+07:00

When you go to a cinema, you pay good money so you can watch a movie with good quality as well. That goes without saying. I mean, I pay more so I don't have to watch a movie where the scenes are lagged, or the audio suddenly play dead.

But it's exactly what happened last Saturday when I went to this new Blitz Megaplex in Teraskota BSD. The audio went its own way and returned whenever it felt like it.

I was watching Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. Five minutes after it started, I couldn't hear what Flint Lockwood and Sam Sparks were saying.

What's an unsatisfied costumer to do in a bumpy situation like that? I, along with Bangun, Dinda, and Nugi marched down to tell the doorman.

After a few trips back and forth from our row-B seats, it was fixed. For about 15 minutes we lost track of he movie, because we were too busy complaining.

Once the movie was done, we of course filed a complaint to the movie manager or some sort. By filed I mean standing as close to him as I could to let him know who's taller (yes that's my way of physically threatening people), look him in the eye, and rant.

In the end, he couldn't do anything but apologize. He also sent me a written apology through my e-mail. No compensation.

For me, a written apology is kind of enough. After all, it was the first time this thing ever happened to me.

However, it left me wondering; why didn't the other 50-ish people in that same studio say anything? They had the right to complain. Were they satisfied with only reading the subtitle?

Or are they rich enough to think that it wasn't a waste of money?

Or, were they too proud to ask for compensation? To say that the Rp 28,000 they'd spent was not worth a partly-muted animation movie?

Lilies, roses, and bullies in uniforms

2009-11-13T18:57:00.001+07:00

Aside from October, the things that came and went include my birthday, which marked my first quarter of a century of living.

The highlights of this year's birthday were the presents; books, clothes, and a Star Wars DVD box set. Plus of course a bouquet of lilies and roses from O Dear One. But nothing could top the impromptu happy birthday song that Dinda and Ebonk made up during the karaoke night. With backing vocals of Runi, Bangun, and Nugi. Super.

Anyway. I guess this is still related to TV crew; because there's always something to talk about when it comes to their kind.

Recently, the media was buzzed by a story of this high school kid who was bullied by his upper classmates, sending the poor kid to the hospital with a black eye and internal bleeding.

School bullying, of course, is a major issue anywhere in the world.

So that night, a bunch of cameramen and maybe some other journalists waited near the school to get a shot of maybe someone punching some guy, playing God in the little world we called high school.

Story is, there were several alumni (alumna? alumnus? I never get this one right) hanging out in the park, and they told the cameramen to get the hell out of their area. That no cameras were allowed.

The story also said that physical contacts were made before the guys ran away and left the cameramen dumbfounded.

At that moment, I thought the brawl was a self defense to protect their school. Well, however, they didn't need to go all physical. I thought, dasar sekolah borju. The school is famous for having crazy rich kids who think they can solve anything in this world by money and power.

However, a few days later, I heard the other side of the story. Bangun's sister's boyfriend was there that night. And he said that those cameramen, who call themselves journalists, kept provoking the guys to start calling the freshmen and bully them.

All for a good TV footage.

All for those "exclusive" tag printed out near their station logo every time it airs. Which would mean 1024749 times a day. Over and over again.

I try not to take sides, but somehow, it is much more believable to imagine the latter scene. Of course, I understand those TV crew were just trying to do their job. No good footage means an earful from their producers.

But is it really necessary to keep provoking, and when they've sparked some anger, they told their online-journalist friend to publish the one-sided story?

Is it really necessary to use their agenda setting power to stir the public's minds into thinking, "wow these kids really are bullies"?

I ain't no saint, but come on people, there are rules. There are ethics. Try to respect them. And again, use your brain, not your muscle. Your head, not your fist.

Anchor anger

2009-10-02T16:43:00.002+07:00

Between getting the gist of earthquakes, captured terrorists, new members of the House of Representatives which looks more and more like a circus, and the endlessly frustrating mudik, I've been nothing but fine.

Let's jump to the latest issue that's been filling our brains for the past few days. The magnitude-7.6 tremor in Padang, feared to kill more than 1,000 people. Quite a statistic.

What bothers me the most is not the victims, really. Call me heartless, but oh well it just means their time on Earth's up. What I can't stand is the way local TV stations air the news like their main aim is not to inform people, but to entertain the audience with grief.

The more footage of crying people, the better.

I understand very much the term "bad news is good news." But it made me want to destroy my TV when a TV One anchor went live with a man in Padang whose daughter was trapped under a rubble of school building.

The two female anchors kept cornering him with questions they probably thought would get him in tears.

"How do you feel about the possibility of losing your daughter, Sir?"
"What was she wearing the last time you saw her?"
"Did she say anything at all that might have sent a bad sign?"
"What is your hope, Sir?"

And they kept going on and on and on, asking the same questions, only phrased differently. It's like a police interrogation. Luckily the guy seemed more patient and did not break down at all.

Seriously, TV anchors. Made-up, Barbie-doll-like, TV anchors.

And let's not forget the footage loop. A foot sticking out of a rubble, people crying on the street. I get it the first time, but three days of those, backed by mellow songs?

Earthquakes are earthquakes. This country lies on the Ring of Fire, home to about 80 percent of the world's volcanoes and seismic activities. We're supposed to be prepared for quakes, not treat it as a big disease and just weep every time we lose thousands of people to it.

Again, I love my job but I never know why

2009-09-02T20:03:00.003+07:00

There it was, my first huge earthquake on Wednesday. My initial reaction, honestly, was to hide under the table. Believe me, I was this close to do just that, while dozens of my coworkers were starting to yell and run.

Of all Globians, I was probably the only one who took a moment to grab my backpack before running out. Mind you, my oh-so-precious Blackberry was in hand, while my other two phones, the phones that have been with me all these years, were neglected on the desk.

So we ran nine floors downstairs, my fingers shaky and my feet wobbly. I kept thinking why the fuck were there so many stair flights and how they never seemed to end. I thought, a helmet would come in very handy right about then.

While running, I and a friend along with our desk editor discussed, half jokingly, who was going to write the story. Finally, we got a page-1 headline.

Outside, throngs of people were scattered on the street, ignorant to the passing cars.

Half an hour into the awkward laughters and pitchy voices repeating "I thought it was only some minor construction shake," we went back upstairs.

And while half of Jakartans were crammed bumper to bumper on the street because they were let go earlier by their offices, I and the rest of the news crew started our day.

Plaza Semanggi was dead for a while. The office employees were restricted from re-entering the building, and some of the shops were closed.

Still, we were trying to make any phone calls we could to get statements from authorities.

I had planned to meet up with some of my dearest friends tonight. And I was looking forward to it because malls and donuts and besties are always the perfect drug for me. However, I ended up going home at 9, as usual, sleepy and tired.

But somehow, I loved the rush back there.

Promises are hard to keep.

2009-08-18T11:46:00.003+07:00

As I'd predicted, Day Two never happened here :|

Let me try to recap then, it is now Day-Off-Almost-Over already. Boo.

Day Two, which was on Friday, I went to the office to get this thing with my friends and bosses sorted out. I can't tell it in public place I guess, but it was about work agreement.

Afterwards, I met Runi and Sindro in Pacific Place, the first time I ate at Pancious. And I think they are overrated. But anyway, I got my Coldplay T-shirt, thanks to Ms. SF, and well, it was always fun to go to a mall. Runi stayed over that night, and we did.....surprise, surprise, nothing.

Day Three, Saturday. It was my sister's birthday-slash-graduation party at my house. Bangun, Runi, and my father were there, along with my sister's boyfriend and some friends. We ate like there was no tomorrow, and leyeh-leyeh like time did not move at all.

Day Four, Sunday. You see, it was a day before Aug. 17, and my neighborhood decided to have a merry little celebration of the independence day. By little I mean rows of tables selling from foods to mobile provider, and by merry I mean people singing their asses out on stage.

I had slept at 3 a.m. the night before, and at exactly 6.30 a.m., they kicked off the celebration by playing this Indonesian song through the gigantic speakers.

My bedroom window is only a stone's throw away from the park.

So there I was, thinking of the best way to destroy the stage. But then the day went by nicely, as I helped mom selling foods at the bazaar. At night, I went shopping for some groceries with Bangun and looked around for a netbook.

Day Five, Monday. Nothing happened in the morning, but I went to see Leo Kristi at night. Yes, the singer from our parents' era. Bangun's uncle is a big fan of him, and he asked us all to go see him perform in Taman Ismail Marzuki.

That man Leo Kristi is one looney singer.

He yelled, he told us nonsense stories, he wore a pair of goggles on stage, along with bright pink trousers and sneakers, and in between, he played good music.

For three hours.

Plus, he played songs the audience requested, and just stopped in the middle when he forgot the lyrics and the chords. I couldn't help thinking how it would be if I interviewed him for the paper. I think he would give me the answers of my life.

Anyway, today's Day Six. I'm about to go to Bandung, there's an akekahan of Kinanti, Bangun's super cute niece. We'll see how it goes, and deep down, I've started wailing silently because tomorrow will be the last of my oh-so-beautiful holiday..